Toot, Toot Snitches...♥

So the other day, I was told that I have "narcissistic tendencies"...to that person, I replied, "So? I don't care!" lol.
A person with narcissistic personality disorder:

• Reacts to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation
• Takes advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals
• Has feelings of self-importance
• Exaggerates achievements and talents
• Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love
• Has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
• Requires constant attention and admiration
• Disregards the feelings of others, lacks empathy
• Has obsessive self-interest
• Pursues mainly selfish goals

Obviously, looking at these points...hell yeah, I have narcissistic "tendencies". I fall in love with me every time I look in the mirror! What's your point? The thing that bugged me is that I was given this half-cocked opinion by a skeezer who loves to be the weepy-whiner of the bunch. "OMG, my hair is sooo ugly today !" (bitch, why'd you leave the house lookin like that, then??). "OMG, my thighs move when I run. I'm thinking about getting liposuction" {bitch, so what! Your whole leg moves when you run, you wanna get that nip-tucked off, too?!)...I could go on and on. The thing is, the girl doesn't even look bad. Dare I say, she's pretty. Anyone who knows me can tell you that when it comes to people, I can't STAND hearing someone fish for compliments and validation all day. Ugh! It's so annoying! Low self-esteem rears it's ugly head all too often. It's like, we see you! OK! So you can stop calling attention to yourself, and stop trying to act like you hate how you look, because in actuality, I'm the one who's smart enough to see right through it and recognize that you're actually quite enthralled with yourself. You just wanted everyone else to be, too. Well guess what? I called her out on it! She had the nerve to say, "I'm surprised you had time to notice anything, you're always tooting your own horn"...she had this look on her face that made me want to punch the shit out of her shake my head. I told her, "I'd rather toot my own horn than to wait my whole life for someone else to toot it for me." That's when she threw in that "narcissistic tendencies" BS... girl please. When you stop whining long enough to actually listen in class, earn a degree or two, and start practicing Psychology, then you can come throwing your half-cocked diagnosis over here. Until then, get the f*ck from 'round me! Go somewhere and get your Daddy-issues in check before you wind up knocked up in a campus bathroom talkin' about you're a virgin and didn't know you were pregnant...dummy.

x0x0♥

PS: Yes, I do feel better now. Thank you. :-)

Blah.

Same shit, different week.
Just wanted to blog for the sake of...well, blogging lol. 
Not really in the mood, though. 
My newest addiction :-)


x0x0♥

Untitled♥

I hate it when someone tries to minimize YOUR feelings. Maybe you don't care, but if that's the case keep your thoughts/comments/opinions to your damn self. Who are you to judge my situation and fix your lips to spout criticisms based on the portion of me that I ALLOW you to know??? Who gave you this right? I don't remember consenting to or asking for that shit. 
There are so many aspects of ourselves that we wish to keep sacred. No one need worry about them, because they belong solely to us. My most inner self doesn't want to come out. She doesn't want to be exposed to you...to your lies, your judgement, your manipulation... She just wants to be.My outer self is somewhat the same, though. I don't feel like I should have to explain every aspect of me to anyone. It's mine...can I at least be selfish about that? Even if you think you know me, the reality is that all you know is what I give you... You can come up with all the analyses isn the world, but if you don't have all the data to begin with, is your analysis really valid? I think not. After revealing any given portion of you, people seem to feel as though that revelation is their green light to probe, analyze, diagnose, etc. all the things that you're showing them. Everything isn't meant to be analyzed. If I choose to share something with you, it's because I want you to feel me...not to minimize and erase the feelings I already have about it. Feeling makes me human...if I didn't care about anything, what would I be?? 
x0x0♥

My Week♥

Sooo Thursday is pretty much always the end of my school week. I'm glad. This week particularly pissed me off in a multitude of ways. I'm like Keyshia Cole now...I just want it to be over.
Have you ever just been pissed and irritated for no reason?? I'm not one for all the PMS foolishness, but somethin is going on. Either that, or everybody in the world had a secret meeting and decided to push my buttons this week. I just want to be left alone. Is that too much to ask? Not permanently. Not indefinitely. Just long enough to breathe and live and not have to worry about everyone else's BS, or listen to their drama, or have to give advice... All I asked was to be left the fuck alone. Some people can't even get that through their heads. If I'm feeling this way, common sense SHOULD tell these people not to come asking me what's wrong, or am I mad at them, or other BS questions. If I wanted to talk to you, I wouldn't specifically say, DON'T TALK to ME. Right?? Clarification at it's finest. If I knew what was wrong, I wouldn't need to get away long enough to think about it!! THis probably sounds like a bunch of meaningless rambling, and maybe it is... but writing is and has always been the only way I know to vent. Plus it's my blog. I can do what the eff I want. 
My week started off crappy. Here's the deal: You all know the deal with my relationship. Double long distance. Boyfriend is from Chicago. Full wrestling scholarship to U of Northern Iowa. I live in Ohio. Full ride as well. We're making the distance work as best as we can. We haven't seen each other since my birthday (July/early Aug). The plan was for me to go visit him for V-day weekend. Fail. He wrestles in Tennessee that weekend. Moved it up to the previous weekend. Fail again. Their also wrestling somewhere that weekend. So we finally settle on the second week of March. It's the only week he has off from wrestling, and it happens to be my Spring Break. Perfect, right? Go to request off at work...and I'm told that I can't. I don't want to go into it, but just know that I was more pissed than I've EVER been that day. I don't even want to let my mind go back to it. Just know that if I had another job, I'd have walked my ass out and quit that day. But alas, I'm but a broke college student... 
Before this even happened, I fell out with my grandmother. Why? She calls me. Asks what I'm doing. I tell her I'm looking at hotels because I'm going to Iowa for Spring Break. Her response: I know you're not driving out there are you? I tell her yes, I am. I don't do planes and even if I did, a round trip is like 400 bucks. Plus hotel? No thanks. My plan was to drive to Chicago (which is halfway) and stay the night at his parents' home, then drive the rest of the way. We've done it before. Simple plan. Works just fine. My grandmother commences to tell me that my boyfriend doesn't respect me if he lets me drive all the way out there. Never mind the fact that I'm grown, and that he doesn't let or make me do anything, or that we alternate on visits and he visited me during my birthday weeks (yes, the whole 2 weeks was my bday).... then she tells me that he doesn't have my best interests at heart, and that I shouldn't always be chasing him, because that's what makes men not respect women. Yeeeeah. That's how my week went. Let's see, I believe that was Sunday. Haven't spoken to her since. Haven't answered any calls from her, and haven't called her. I've been happily living my love life for 3 years. As far as I'm concerned, if I wanna walk to IA to see my man, whose business is it? Me telling her about the trip was just a formality, a precaution to let someone know in case of emergency what my plans were. It wasn't to ask her permission or her opinion. So as of now, she's pissed me off to the fullest extent, and me being denied my time off just adds salt to the wound, because that was the only convenient time for me to plan my trip. Now it's looking like I'll have to wait til school is out. Again. I'm not driving 10 hours to only spend a day or a weekend with him. I wouldn't have him do it either. As I've said, long-distance relationships aren't for the faint of heart. 
x0x0♥

Rude Awakening♥

Soooo a man called me at the crack of dawn earlier, waking me up from what felt like thee best sleep I'd ever partaken in in my entire life. I was LiVid!!! To make matters worse... it was a wrong number!! YEs! Calling me asking for some chick named Angel. WTF? 
So I politely tell him he has the wrong number, and he commences to hit on me! Talking about "Well what's your name? You sound gorgeous. I could get used to waking up to that voice..." I'm like is dude serious?? Do we still do that? Hit on random people who we've never met in life, over the phone? A hot mess. I never could get back to sleep, either. My whole day was spent in half-sleep drowsiness, all because of some jive turkey trying to play Telephone Lover. Ugh! I just hung up in his face. Ol' weirdo... 
x0x0♥

Why Are You Still Here?♥

I'm having a great week. I almost feel like something's going to go wrong soon, because things have been going so well lol. I'm currently thinking about all the things I hate about work, however. I seriously need to find the time to seek alternative employment. 
One of the managers at my store (part time) got fired last week. Is it bad that that was the best day ever, to me?? I was happy. She sucks at life, death, and everything in between. She's just whack. 
So imagine my immense pisstivity when we received a phone call from our district manager earlier this week, saying that this chick was to be 'suspended', not terminated. Ugh!! Ruined my day! Who did you have to suck off cry and whine to in order to keep this job?? She's lazy, she's obnoxious, she doesn't dress cute (I mean, we work in the fashion industry, for God's sake!), she's irresponsible (she forgot to put the deposit into the safe when she was closing one night), and on top of all this, she's actually come to work hungover before. Seriously? Overlooking the fact that you're clearly a lush, you waddle in looking like yesterday's hot mess and smelling like last nights bar? Triflin'..
x0x0♥

Excuse My Hiatus~♥

Hey loves...
Sorry I've been away for so long. Had to tend to some things and get prepared for spring semester! It's going great, so far. But doesn't it always seem that way during the first week? That's when everyone's all nice and rested and rejuvenated and whatnot. Lol. I do think this will be my fave semester, though. just based on the classes I'm taking this semester. Learning is a lot easier when the subject matter actually piques your interest.
Anywho, school started yesterday. You know what that means. Hoodrat freshmen, icebreakers, parking lot pandemonium, and refund check ballers. SMH.
I won't lie, though, I did get my refund check today lol. And I was excited. Why? Because since my store of employment has cut back on hours, I've been cut back on hours, which means some bills weren't exactly getting paid. I'm not the most responsible person when it comes to money. I'm learning, though. I grew up in a not-rich-but-pretty-spoiled-compared-to-a-lot-of-my-peers type of home...So this independent, fend-for-yourself thing is still pretty new to me. That being said, I just spent like 600+ on bills, paying things off completely so that I can start fresh. My aim is to be responsible and pay things on time, and to never let things pile up this way again. And to keep something in the bank. And to live within my means. That's been my biggest problem. It's one thing when you're living the life on Mommy and Daddy and Granny's dime, but when it's on your dime (and nickels, and pennies) the situation gets sticky. Pray for me. I'll keep y'all posted on my progress!
Also, I signed up for internet today, so I can get back on track with my blogging! That's the real reason I've been away from you guys lol... I was kinda mooching off someone's wireless in my apartment complex, but now it seems to not wanna work... and I don't do this campus computer lab/library stuff unless ABSOLUTELY necessary, for reasons that we've already discussed. Besides, with two online classes, I can't afford to be foolin' with someone's unreliable internet lol. I know, silly of me to complain about someone ELSE's web service. But oh well.
I'm also planning a trip to Iowa to see my Honeydip in 3 weeks. Wanted to go for Valentine's Day weekend, but he'll be out of town at a wrestling tournament, and as much as I enjoy seeing him knock the sh*t out of take down other 285 lb beasts, I don't like my visits to be interrupted.
I'm killing time before my Clinical Psych class, so I'll catch up on some of you guys' blogs! I've really missed them!
x0x0♥

My Real World...♥

Spring semester begins next Monday. I'm beyond ready. Lol. I think I've mentioned this a few times before, but oh well. I'm saying it again. This will be my second to last semester of my undergraduate education and I'm so ready to get out there into what I consider the Real World. I know it's a scary time with the state of the economy and whatnot, but unlike some people, I refuse to use that as a cop-out or an excuse to move back into my family's house and be unproductive. I want my own, and for the past 3 and a half years I've been gaining the skills to go out and get it! So why not be excited?
I've been practically living on the phone with my Honeydip the past couple weeks. As a matter of fact, as I type this post, he's asleep snoring over my speaker phone. It's around that time when we both start getting cranky because we haven't seen each other in so long. Instead of letting it take it's toll on us, this time he decided to go the opposite direction and get back to what made us so close in the first place. Talking...about any and everything. I remember when we were just best friends, and his father told him not to spoil me by talking to me day in and day out, because then I'd expect him to do it forever lol. I mean, that's a little unrealistic. At that time, we were both in high school. Our lives have both gotten a lot busier since then. So I still love and appreciate all the time we spend talking and just growing as a couple. Our friendship is really what I adore most about our relationship. I said that to someone and she's like aww, that's so sweet...I wish my boyfriend would be like that with me... I don't think I'd accept anything less. There's such a noticeable difference when you form a friendship with someone prior to the romantic part. If you can't talk, or enjoy each other's company when you're not physically doing anything, what's the point? 
Anywho, right now I'm watching Don't Be a Menace blah blah whatever the rest of the title is...I'd never seen it before. It was...umm...interesting. I'm one of those people who hasn't seen half the movies that others believe the entire world has watched a billion times. I just saw Coming to America for the first time in like October. *shrug* Oh well. I'd just rather read a book than watch a movie. Sue me. 
x0x0♥

NYE & ish...♥

Hey guys! Hope everyone had a safe and Happy New Year.
I actually had a nice one. Had to work NYE, but the mall closed early so I had time to drive to my hometown and go to my best friend's birthday party. Yes, she's a NYE baby. Lol... then her brother threw her an after party on Friday night. Fun times at house parties in the hood. I felt sooo out of place. But whatever. My best friend is like the one college girl out of an extrEMELY hood family. Lol. They call her the white girl of the family. That gets on my nerves...but you know how our people do. Anyway, yeah I'm definitely not the party girl. I didn't know half the music being played. Lil' Boosie sounds like Trina to me... and they were listening to somebody named Waka Flaka... I don't even have words to describe the whackness. So yeah...basically I was not hip AT ALL. But it was for my best friend. So I had fun.
Got some free laundry done at Grandma's house.
It's always fun to go home...however I've never been so happy to be back in my own apartment. Where I can take long showers, walk around in a t-shirt, and sleep as late as I want. My granny is a busybody, and she usually doesn't sleep past 8am. When I don't have work or school, I can sleep up til like noon. Lol. She does not  approve.
Anyway, now I'm just coolin. Waiting for school to resume. I'm ready. Holiday season is over. That means these lazy seasonals are headed out the door. That makes me extremely happy. They suck at life. Who applies for a seasonal position then gets mad that they have to work near holidays? Do you not realize that that's the only purpose you serve here? SMH...
I'm planning something for Valentine's Day with the Honeydip. Don't know what yet, but something. Definitely haven't seen him since my birthday. My birthday was in July. Not cool... 
x0x0♥