It's physically exhausting to constantly put 100% into things, only to receive 50% in return.
I'm not really a "go through the motions" type of girl. When I'm in, I'm all in.
So when it comes to the love thing, I'm usually left in a state of bafflement.
I'd like to think that I'm pretty low-maintenance.
Time.
Effort.
Attention (as needed).
Space (as needed).
Affection.
These are the things that mean the most to me. The things that should be natural and fluid and pure. Everything else is just... stuff. Good stuff, bad stuff. But it's just stuff.
Sometimes it feels like we're so disconnected from the essentials that we're perfectly okay with diminishing love into this accumulation of stuff. Material things. Superficial things. We want to make it look pretty for others, and sound pretty when we tell our friends all about it... but how many of us are really letting ourselves FEEL? Most people won't ever know the pure peace and serenity that comes from letting one's heart open up, to allow a person to set up residence. Many people don't even have the capacity to do so... But once you've felt an all-consuming love, anything less just feels... pointless.
So I wait.
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