The Price of Fame...♥

I just had to post this link to Kanye's latest blog post... 
I promise, I've loved Kanye's music for so long, and consistently...I miss him! The College Dropout never left my earphones the since the day it was released. It went from the CD player, to the first mp3 player, to the iTunes and the iPod. That, lyrically, is one of my favorite albums. That's just my opinion. Say what you will about him, but the man has words for days....
These gossip sites give him a lot of BS, but when you really sit and read his words, Kanye is probably one of the people (mainstream celebrity-wise) with the most knowledge to offer. I don't think he's crazy, I think he's been through enough ish that he has to sit and just write sometimes. I know the feeling. His mom was his rock. It's funny how the website I saw this link on (which I won't name, because I don't deem them worthy of the shout out) is like soooo many other celeb-based blogs and forms of media. One minute, a person is everyone's favorite. They're on top, and their creative mind is getting this high that they've always dreamed of. The next minute, they're hated, being dissed and criticized by the same people who boosted them up onto the very pedestal they're being knocked off of. The mind and ego are, in my opinion, two of the most fragile components of human beings. Hollywood and the media have seen the birth and death (literally and figuratively) of so many celebrities who, in the end, just wanted to be heard, and accepted, and...well, loved. It's funny how media has the power to do so much good and so much evil. It's also funny how hard it would be for some to decide which is more entertaining: the positive, uplifting messages or those that beat down the very essence of one's being, just to restart and repeat the cycle all over again the next week. I don't think I could afford the price of fame... it costs too much.
x0x0

I Am...♥

Sleepy, but trying to motivate myself to clean my house up before work (I know I won't feel like it afterwards!)
Happy, because this time next week I'll be in Cedar Falls (Iowa) with my love...on cloud 9.
Anxious, because I'm ready to leave. NOW!
Determined to make today a great day. Waking up to sunshine and turning on some good music will do that to ya!
Loving my life right now, and all the people in it. And all the clutter I've eliminated from it.
Cold, because of the draft coming through the window next to my computer desk...but I like to look outside while I blog and ish. 
Excited, because I've been sans-creamy crack (relaxer) since May now, and yesterday a young man at my job complimented me on my au-natural look. My hair hadn't been "done" in about 5 days... I did a curly set on like...I don't even remember what day last week. My hair is still looking great. Speaking of that, I'm
Thankful that I can sleep, wake up, remove my satin sleep cap, and GO! No extra hair junk needed!
Sad, because my beautiful younger cousin is now one of "those girls" at school who gets picked on because she "thinks she's all that"...and has been suspended for defending herself from a jealous girl who yanked her hair because she wanted to see if it was fake. When will our young ladies stop hating one another??
x0x0♥

Toot, Toot Snitches...♥

So the other day, I was told that I have "narcissistic tendencies"...to that person, I replied, "So? I don't care!" lol.
A person with narcissistic personality disorder:

• Reacts to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation
• Takes advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals
• Has feelings of self-importance
• Exaggerates achievements and talents
• Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love
• Has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
• Requires constant attention and admiration
• Disregards the feelings of others, lacks empathy
• Has obsessive self-interest
• Pursues mainly selfish goals

Obviously, looking at these points...hell yeah, I have narcissistic "tendencies". I fall in love with me every time I look in the mirror! What's your point? The thing that bugged me is that I was given this half-cocked opinion by a skeezer who loves to be the weepy-whiner of the bunch. "OMG, my hair is sooo ugly today !" (bitch, why'd you leave the house lookin like that, then??). "OMG, my thighs move when I run. I'm thinking about getting liposuction" {bitch, so what! Your whole leg moves when you run, you wanna get that nip-tucked off, too?!)...I could go on and on. The thing is, the girl doesn't even look bad. Dare I say, she's pretty. Anyone who knows me can tell you that when it comes to people, I can't STAND hearing someone fish for compliments and validation all day. Ugh! It's so annoying! Low self-esteem rears it's ugly head all too often. It's like, we see you! OK! So you can stop calling attention to yourself, and stop trying to act like you hate how you look, because in actuality, I'm the one who's smart enough to see right through it and recognize that you're actually quite enthralled with yourself. You just wanted everyone else to be, too. Well guess what? I called her out on it! She had the nerve to say, "I'm surprised you had time to notice anything, you're always tooting your own horn"...she had this look on her face that made me want to punch the shit out of her shake my head. I told her, "I'd rather toot my own horn than to wait my whole life for someone else to toot it for me." That's when she threw in that "narcissistic tendencies" BS... girl please. When you stop whining long enough to actually listen in class, earn a degree or two, and start practicing Psychology, then you can come throwing your half-cocked diagnosis over here. Until then, get the f*ck from 'round me! Go somewhere and get your Daddy-issues in check before you wind up knocked up in a campus bathroom talkin' about you're a virgin and didn't know you were pregnant...dummy.

x0x0♥

PS: Yes, I do feel better now. Thank you. :-)

Though this Word Really Irritates Me,

'Hater' is a word that's been creeping more and more into my vocabulary lately. Why? It's becoming more and more necessary! Why do Black people seem to hate seeing each other succeed? There seems to be a lot of hating going around these days, and it's beginning to get on my nerves. This subject came up after I had a conversation with a classmate about our grades in a course we just completed. I worked damned hard to finish up strong this semester, and I didn't hesitate to let her know I'd received an A in the course, after listening to her raggedy conspiracy theory that she apparently needed to justify her final grade of C. I could just feel the haterism seeping out, and I thought it was quite funny. So much so that I laughed. This, of course, made her more pissy but oh well. I just don't understand. Personally, I was raised in a home with encouragement and reinforcement. I have no problem tooting my own horn, because I know that when it comes to my education, I value it and I work hard for it. Family loves hearing about this type of stuff lol. But let you say something to a hater...it's an entirely different story. It's always "He/She think he/she all that" or "Who he/she think he/she is??" or some variation of haterism. Like seriously, why not congratulate those around you who are progressing through life positively? If congratulating them is too much for you, just don't say anything at all! The way I see it, there are only three reasons people have to hate on others:
1) You're miserable and you want company. Get over it! Half the people you're hating on are only guilty of making better use of the same opportunities you've squandered or given up on. 
2) You're jealous. Once again, get over it. We're too old to play the 'Boo Hoo, I want what so-and-so has but I won't admit it so I'm just gonna say mean things about them' game. Grow a pair.
3) You've got too much time on your hands. In this case, maybe you need to do something to make your life better while you're sitting around bashing everyone else's. 
At this point in life, all you're accomplishing by being a hater is highlighting all the areas of your life that you aren't secure in. And insecurity doesn't look good on anyone. 
x0x0♥

Oh, No He Didn't!! ♥

So on Saturday nights, I go to this open mic thing called The Listening, and it's held in a lounge which is right next door to a tavern/bar/White people mecca. So as I'm leaving tonight, I walk past 3 White guys standing out front smoking, and I give a little polite smile since they were looking. All of a sudden I hear the one closest to me say, "She's a big girl"..
*Pause. Let me just state that, for the record, this statement did not piss me off. I'm a size 18, and I love me, and my man loves me, and plenty of other people (some who I don't even want to love me lol) and I'm one of those girls who honestly believes she's gorgeous, and no one can tell me anything to the contrary! Lol!*
Then another one responds, "Yeah, aren't they all?"....
Freeze. 
No, literally, I stopped in my tracks.
I turned around and, my Mama would come back to life and kill me if she knew I'd popped fly on a sidewalk full of half drunk White men on a Saturday night while walking alone but...I had to say something. I had to...
So I turn around and said, "Excuse you?" and they just looked at me with these stupid grins on their faces. So the one who called me a big girl takes a drag of nicotine and says, "Is there a problem?"... really?
So I told him, "Yeah, the problem is racist ass White people like you who need to learn how to keep your stereotypes to yourself, especially when I work in a store that sells clothes to more White women than a little bit, the majority of which are teetering on obesity while you're sitting here talking about Black women are all big!" and the guys were just looking at me all stupid. Then the guy threw his cigarette down and I just knew he was gonna try something but then he apologized. Yeah, he said "I'm sorry, ma'am, we were just f*cking around, we didn't mean anything by it"...and I was getting ready to walk away when the same racist a-hole who made the "Aren't they all?" comment decided to throw in another two cents. He asked me, "What the hell clothing store do you work in??" then he laughed. My response? "Go home and ask your fat ass mama, I'm sure she's one of our frequent shoppers."
Don't play me. I'm not the one. 
x0x0♥

For the Babies...♥

So I've read that Angelina Jolie is planning to adopt yet another child (this will make lucky number 7), from Syria this time. I think it's great. I'm a big fan, and I don't care how cooky people think she is! I think it's crazy, however, that people are criticizing her for it. It seems like someone always has something to say when Angelina makes an addition to the Jolie-Pitt clan, but honestly as long as she's willing and able to take in these children, what's the big problem? Do you know how many children in the world are orphans, and need a family to take care of them? Half the people who are complaining probably don't take care of their own kids, or know someone else who doesn't! So as long as there are people running around pulling 'Brenda-Got-a-Baby' scenarios, I don't have a problem with anyone stepping up and trying to help a small portion of these children!
x0x0♥

We Need a Resolution...♥

I’m taking a History of Jazz course this semester, and my professor is actually a famous jazz musician, Professor Jon Hendricks. It’s so interesting to hear the events of this genre’s history from a first-hand source, rather than simply reading about it from a textbook…I think it's an honor, because it must be hard to attempt giving knowledge to the blissfully ignorant...
I’ve become increasingly disturbed and, quite frankly, disgusted by some of the behaviors of my classmates. I attend a predominantly White university, and the majority of my class is made up of White students. My professor is a Black man who served in the US Army during World War II, at a time when Blacks had never been treated as humans in America. That is, until they arrived overseas. This professor shares his personal memories and experiences with our class, and it makes me so angry that as soon as he begins touching the issue of the racism America carries to this very day, there are students who are so disrespectful that they’ll get up in the middle of Professor Hendricks’ lectures and leave the class. I mean, I thought maybe the first time it happened that there was a coincidence, that maybe they all had to get to another class for an exam or something…it’s college. Who knows. But when it happened again during a documentary on Professor Hendricks that our class was watching, then again today…well, let’s just say that’s a lot of coincidence.

The question the professor was responding to dealt with why so many European countries and cultures have respect and admiration for jazz music, but Americans don’t. Jazz is an American art form…something that southern African-Americans brought to this culture. Yet, because of the hatred and refusal to accept that something this beautiful could come from a bunch of n*ggers, America can’t even appreciate the art of jazz. It’s really sad. This is all my professor tried to explain, and we’ve got ignorant people who can’t even bear to listen to what the real deal is about this country. We’re a nation built on hate and discrimination. It’s part of history. Ignoring it, putting your fingers in your ear and singing “Lalalalalalala” isn’t going to make that fact go away! We’re the only nation that has virtually NO culture, and the little culture we do have gets rejected because the very people who were forcefully brought over here came up with a way to express themselves culturally… We’d rather imitate other cultures and try to assimilate them into our lives, than to acknowledge what was created on our own soil….SMH.
x0x0♥

How YOU Doin'? ♥

If I could be at home during the 4-5pm block everyday, life would be almost perfect.
Tyra, then Wendy? Girrrrrl....(or boyyyyy, depending on who's reading this) lol. ♥
I absolutely love the Wendy Williams show, and I've read about people criticizing the type of celebrities that appear on her show...smh.
I'll honestly say, I like the fact that she does something different on her show. I can also appreciate her imfamous "no-holds-barred" attitude as far as interviews. I don't think it's as bad as people try to make it! I mean, if I were a celebrity, I'd rather go on a talk show and tell/defend my own business rather than letting tabloids ramble and make things up about me! I didn't hear the Wendy Williams experience too many times, but it's pretty common knowledge that she burned a few bridges back during her days as a radio personality...but she's here now, there's a whole new roster of celebrities out there now, and I love that her show isn't just another tabloid.
There are enough TV shows, tabloids, and paparazzi websites talking about the same 5 people day in and day out. At least Wendy has guests who are up and coming, or on shows and movies that actually require legitimate acting experience! Half the "A-list" celebrities that are in demand right now aren't famous for doing a damn thing beside showing their cookies and being rich! Reality TV has taken over and, although I'll admit that it's my guilty pleasure, I feel pretty bored with these people. The media has given some people WAY more than the 15 minutes of fame they should have received. When I see the Kardashians, Hiltons, and all these random reality-TV White girls who all look the same to me...I just turn the channel/page. Kudos to Wendy, because whether she's booking people she likes, or people she can get when no one else wants to do her show...I love it {Wendy voice}!
x0x0♥

Dirty House? Clean It Up! ♥

So I'm making my way through cyberspace, and I come across this blog on Essence magazine's website, devoted to Single Mothers. I'm not a mother yet, but the blog tickled my fancy. One of the entries discussed the issue of men not bothering to see their children once the relationship with the child's mother has ceased...and it wasn't so much the blog topic that interested me. It was more the subsequent comments made by the readers of the blog. There was a mixture of women. Some were married and some single, some with children and some without. I noticed, though, that there was a lot of cattiness going back and forth, especially after particular readers began to go against the grain and point out that maybe single mothers are responsible for their situation, as they chose to procreate with men who they knew, for lack of a better term "weren't shit" when they laid down with them.
This gave me a couple different reactions, actually. First off, are we as women really so judgmental towards each other, that we jump to conclusions as soon as we hear about what we think is "just another baby mama"? I know there are women out there who epitomize the "baby mama" stereotype, but what about mitigating circumstances? There are women out there who did all the "right" things (had a relationship, got married, had babies) and STILL ended up as widows or divorcees. There are women who adopt children even though they're unmarried. There are women who opt for artificial insemination, because they're involved with a woman romantically. So why do we, as sistahs, let our minds immediately go to the image of child-support-collecting, club/bar-hopping, welfare-line standing females the minute we hear about someone being a Single Mother?
On the other hand, as soon as the single mothers of the blog audience read these opposing comments, they rose to the occasion. They were having none of that judgmental, lecturing, finger-pointing ish. Rightfully so, because there's a way for everything to be said. The comments that came across as judgmental actually held some merit. Not generalizing, by any means, but there are many women in the world who DO end up having children with men they KNOW aren't even mature enough, available enough, or even care enough to raise a child. Hell, some of these men can barely wipe their hind parts right, and probably shouldn't even be in a relationship with the woman, let alone putting buns into her oven...but she lets him.
We as women need to take responsibility for our actions, but we also need to start holding men accountable for theirs. Call it intuition, premonition, or whatever you want, but more often than not, we see women ending up taking on the role as a single mom, when she knew (whether beforehand, or in retrospect) that the man who impregnated her wasn't father or husband material. Some innate part of us knows this, at some point in the relationship (or lack thereof). We could male-bash all day, but if we really look inside our souls and minds, we'd realize that we as Black women are so much smarter than we give ourselves credit for. And guess what? Many of us have our own single moms to thank for that! We can usually spot BS a mile away, but what makes us turn a blind eye?? Is it love? Is it lust? Is it stupidity? Is it our desire to be loved? The roots of this discussion are soooooo deep....
One thing I’ve noticed is that Black women may throw shade at our male counterparts, but we’re actually very protective of them. It’s our instinct to want to help and nurture them. Although some of them hurt women to their core, the Black Woman still has so much love for the Black Man that she forgives him, and buries the hurt into her subconscious and struggles to move on and give him a pass. I love that we have so much love for our men, but we need not love them at the expense of loving ourselves. Part of loving someone is being able to acknowledge their flaws and mistakes. Not dwell on them, but acknowledge them. Sweeping everything under the rug doesn’t make your house clean...
x0x0♥

Ummm, Hater Much? ♥

Why do people continue to hate on Rihanna??? Every time I see her on a website, someone's either dwelling the Chrihanna scandal (let it thee fuck go!!!), questioning her wardrobe, or now it's criticizing her hair, saying she needs a touch up lol!!! I honestly think that it's human nature to want to feel better than someone. That's my theory until proven otherwise! But really, I mean think about it. You can walk out of your house, looking, smelling, feeling like a million bucks...but as soon as you lay eyes on someone else who might be feeling them self just as much, you turn your eyes up, suck your teeth, and sigh. Lol... don't lie, you've done it. Because as fabulous as you think you are, you can't stand to see someone who might be feeling more fabulous than you Why is this?

I think people hate on Rihanna because she's so damn fierce and she does what the hell she wants. She wears what she wants. She's who she wants to be. Regardless of what you think and how the hell you feel about it! I love it {Wendy voice} lol!! You'll become well acquainted with the fact that I adore Rihanna! Lol...I'll admit, I used to have the hater face on, but when she let go of that image that her labels and execs wanted her to have, and became her true edgy self...I think I may have fallen in LoVe!!! {and I say that in the most no-homo-ish way possible lmao}...she's just the ShiT. Plain and Simple!!♥ Now back to the matter at hand::: I constantly notice Black girls/women with this hater mentality...NOT saying that other people don't have it...it's just that right now I'm living in a predominantly White area and...well...us Black people notice each other in a crowd easier lol. It's like magnetic pull making you see the other Black people in the vicinity wherever you go, because they stick out of the sea of White people you're swimming in every day! Lol... so my question is, why are there only a select few of us who'd rather give a compliment than an eye roll? Is it an Alpha female thing, is it an "I wanna be the most fabulous Black girl in the room" thing? What is it? I'd really love to know!

x0x0♥

The Bitch Switch...

Have you ever let someone get you SOOOOO out of your 'element' that it upset you even more than the thing the did to get you out of your element in the first place??? Lmao...it's so crazy, because personally I strive to be this put-together, "can't tell me nothin'", taking-care-of-business, WOMAN...but there's people out there who can't deal with that! In these 21 years of mine, I've discovered that when it comes to people, what you see is NOTHING like what you get...and that can be a fabulous thing or a dreadful thing, depending on the circumstances, the person, the damn weather... hell. Anything lol. All I know is, real isn't always real. Truth is hardly EVER truth, and most friendships fade to black. Maybe, though, that's not such a bad thing. Some people just aren't necessary to your life! Really! I heard this saying, that some people are only meant to be in your life for a season....or something like that. Lol. It's true shit, though, because although that person may have been fitting for that particular season, the next season they may be completely out of style! So just like we clean our closets out to shop for the new season, maybe friendships need to be cleaned out and swept away also. Personally, I hate clutter. I'm nobody's neat freak, but everything has a place in my palace, and I try to keep everything in it's place. Now, this may not be so apparent if one were to glance at my palace after I've spent two hours deciding what to wear for the day, but that's a whole 'nother blog!

The point is, as angry as this person (and past people) have made me, after it's all said and done, I get this really mellow feeling inside, because I know that this person was not meant to be in my presence permanently. She's one of those friends who the whole group kinda meets, and wonders about, but ultimately gives her a pass to join the clique, because hey, she seems like she might be kinda cool lol... but then the Bitch Switch gets flipped. Lol. And don't act like you don't know, because we've all experienced the Bitch Switch! One minute, shit is sweet, then the next you're getting mental flashes of the person on the ground with your fist introducing itself to her face, all because she said/did some off the wall ish.... Crazy, right? But, I digress.

Bottom Line: Be thankful for the cleaning out of your friendship closet. It's always in order, and it's a hassle, but in the end you'll feel s00000 much better, and accomplished, while that pile of junk is sitting somewhere looking stupid!

x0x0♥