I was browsing another website when I saw a post about a book entitled Losing My Cool: How a Father’s Love and 15,000 Books Beat Hip-Hop Culture by Thomas Chatterton Williams. In his text, Williams looks at how Hip-Hop has basically become a pervasive detriment to our community; Hip-Hop Culture has replaced Black Culture.
I want to read this book, so when I do I’ll offer an actual opinion on it. Although the book is new to me, the argument isn’t. I’ve heard it countless times since I’ve been in college, around people who are actually willing to step back and take a look at the reality of what our “culture” has become, without being too defensive to see the real deal. That being said, I agree with some aspects of Mr. Williams’ argument.
I don’t think Hip-Hop is to blame for what’s going on in households and street corners around the world. Period, point blank. I do, however, believe that somewhere along the line, the world’s image of a Black person became that “thugged-out”, sperm-donating, baggy-pants wearing, cornrow rockin’ jewelry-laced person that can be seen on TV at any given time in the day. This has become what people expect of us. I wrote a post back when the BET series Harlem Heights aired, and I mentioned that Black people don’t respond to shows that try to represent our race in a positive light. We’d rather see ourselves on TV acting a damn fool. I’m willing to bet that a lot of kids under 18 today have never even watched such things as The Cosby Show, A Different World, etc. It’s not fast-paced enough for many of these kids, who are being raised in the world of reality TV and 106th & Park. However, I don’t blame hip-hop.
It is my opinion, as a Black, 21 year old, hood-born-and-raised woman in America, that families are at the core of responsibility. Individuals and their choices. People have dropped the ball in generations as of late, and no one seems strong enough (or willing) to look in the mirror and acknowledge what is so apparent. Isn't acknowledging a problem the first step to fixing it? If we never take that step, what is the fate of our Black Community? Yes, there are things that have happened in this world to us as a people. But what about the things we continuously do to ourselves and to one another? What about darkskin vs. lightskin? What about “good hair” vs. “nappy hair”? What about “acting White” vs. “acting Black”? I doubt that Hip-Hop put those drugs into the hands of drug dealers and the fiends they’re accustomed to serving. Hip-Hop isn’t the culprit of a person beating his/her spouse, children, etc. I think it’s weak-minded of anyone to suggest that a genre of music has infiltrated his/her daily life to the point where it changes them for the worst. Where is our common sense???
A lot of us seem to have internalized the idea that to be Black is to be dumbed-down, inarticulate, hyper sexualized, etc…all while rocking the latest styles. It’s pretty ridiculous, right? Kids are afraid to show their intelligence because someone will accuse them of being an “Oreo” or “acting White”. So the smart kids sit in class, keeping answers to themselves, purposely inserting slang and ebonics into their everyday vernacular, just to satisfy someone else’s internalized ignorance. It hurts my soul…pushing past stereotypes is something we simply need to develop the strength to do.
I was born and raised in Cleveland, Ohio. The real Cleveland, not the surrounding areas where all the White people live/used to live before Black people moved in and “chased them away”. I live in the Cleveland where there’s literally an abandoned home next door, a crack house across the street, another couple crack houses down the street, an Arab-owned store on the corner, right next to a church, and a prostitute who’s walked our block for as long as I can remember, with her short cut blond hair and her missing front teeth. That’s where I’ve lived. I was raised, like so many others, by my mother and her mother, with my father heavily in the picture as well, just not living in the household. I grew up riding my bike around the block, buying candy from the corner store, and I grew up listening to Hip-Hop. However I am not a typical product of my environment. I don’t steal, I don’t do drugs, I don’t have any children/pregnancies/abortions, I’m a semester away from earning my first college degree, and I have every intention of earning at least one more. Every free moment I have is spent listening to music, especially Hip-Hop. So I ask you, is Hip-Hop really to blame?
To sum it all up (because I know some people love lists and bullet points and whatnot):
It is not Hip-Hop's job to:
1) Raise your children.
2) Be a role model for your children.
3) Teach your children how to excel.
4) Provide a blueprint to success.
At best, Hip-Hop is an art form, used to relay the emotions and thoughts of our people, in a way that uplifts our spirits while putting a creative spin on our reality.
At worst, Hip-Hop is just another form of cheap entertainment, a business designed to exploit our people by promising us the very thing that we've been trying to gain for decades on this continent: wealth.
Either way, there is so much more out there for all of us. The problem is lack of encouragement and knowledge being instilled in our children, to let them know that they ARE more than the clothes they "rock" and the cell phones, iPods, and gadgets they own. The potential is limitless, but it means nothing without desire to do better...
x0x0♥
Showing posts with label Kids these Days. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kids these Days. Show all posts
Manipulation... ♥
So I'm listening to Wale's "The Manipulation" {a track from The Mixtape About Nothing} and it made me wonder...why are there so many women who settle for men talking to them any ol' kind of way? If you've never heard the song, it's kind of an alter-ego set-up with two separate beats. Against one beat, Wale raps from the point of view of a sweet, considerate, well-mannered guy. Then the beat switches and you have the other guy who calls women b*tches and h*es, and basically demeans them. The moral is that women have a choice of which type of guy we respond to, and I completely agree.
There's nothing I hate more than hearing a female talk about how disrespected they felt when a dude approached them with "Yo b*tch, you got a man?" or "Damn girl, you got a fat a*s...what I gotta do to hop on that?!"...then a week later, the two of them are dating. What makes certain women respond to these approaches? I've discussed this with female friends before, and one common thing was that back in, say, high school, it was the 'thing' to approach girls like this. So the girls thought guys who stepped to them this way were cool. I don't remember ever thinking that was cute...lol. Apparently at some point, girls let this become "cool", so more guys started doing it.
When did disrespectful guys become the default, making well-mannered ones the exception? Would you notice the quiet, mellow, respectful guy first at a club/mall/party? Or would you notice the loud, obnoxious, rude one? Which would you prefer to approach/be approached by?
x0x0 ♥
There's nothing I hate more than hearing a female talk about how disrespected they felt when a dude approached them with "Yo b*tch, you got a man?" or "Damn girl, you got a fat a*s...what I gotta do to hop on that?!"...then a week later, the two of them are dating. What makes certain women respond to these approaches? I've discussed this with female friends before, and one common thing was that back in, say, high school, it was the 'thing' to approach girls like this. So the girls thought guys who stepped to them this way were cool. I don't remember ever thinking that was cute...lol. Apparently at some point, girls let this become "cool", so more guys started doing it.
When did disrespectful guys become the default, making well-mannered ones the exception? Would you notice the quiet, mellow, respectful guy first at a club/mall/party? Or would you notice the loud, obnoxious, rude one? Which would you prefer to approach/be approached by?
x0x0 ♥
Spring Break! ♥
I'm officially on Spring Break...as of this past Thursday evening.
I'm loving it! I plan on doing absolutely nothing...well, besides the few days I have to work, which I won't complain about since this skeezer FINALLY got the ax resigned from her position. Life IS indeed good...
Anywho, since I already took my lil' mini vacation (lol) I'm just maxxin and relaxxin...listening to the new Raheem DeVaughn ,shuffled in with the old, forever-emblazoned-in-my-heart Raheem, of course. I don't know what it is about that man's voice but it does warm, fuzzy, heart-fluttery things to me...and I love it! In the car, at home, wherever! That's called quality music...I know I used this pic in my Valentine's Day post, but I think it's so adorable that it's definitely worth posting again lol :-)
I'm currently working on an essay about how the Black Family is under/misrepresented in the media, and how this under/misrepresentation is effecting upcoming generations, which are coincidentally ALL wrapped up in the media. It's a topic that just kinda came to me, as I was looking at a photograph of this gorgeous, young married couple I know. It's crazy because if one were to rely on the media's representation of Black Love, they'd be led to believe that...well...there is no love. We're just a bunch of unwed, unloved, unloving babymamas/daddies running rampant. There ARE loving relationships among a lot of Black people. There ARE couples who marry, and raise beautiful families, and live the so-called American dream. But again, one would never know that if they relied on the media's representation of our people. So...yeah. I'm excited to write about such a topic.
x0x0♥
Anywho, since I already took my lil' mini vacation (lol) I'm just maxxin and relaxxin...listening to the new Raheem DeVaughn ,shuffled in with the old, forever-emblazoned-in-my-heart Raheem, of course. I don't know what it is about that man's voice but it does warm, fuzzy, heart-fluttery things to me...and I love it! In the car, at home, wherever! That's called quality music...I know I used this pic in my Valentine's Day post, but I think it's so adorable that it's definitely worth posting again lol :-)
I'm currently working on an essay about how the Black Family is under/misrepresented in the media, and how this under/misrepresentation is effecting upcoming generations, which are coincidentally ALL wrapped up in the media. It's a topic that just kinda came to me, as I was looking at a photograph of this gorgeous, young married couple I know. It's crazy because if one were to rely on the media's representation of Black Love, they'd be led to believe that...well...there is no love. We're just a bunch of unwed, unloved, unloving babymamas/daddies running rampant. There ARE loving relationships among a lot of Black people. There ARE couples who marry, and raise beautiful families, and live the so-called American dream. But again, one would never know that if they relied on the media's representation of our people. So...yeah. I'm excited to write about such a topic.
x0x0♥
I Am...♥
Sleepy, but trying to motivate myself to clean my house up before work (I know I won't feel like it afterwards!)
Happy, because this time next week I'll be in Cedar Falls (Iowa) with my love...on cloud 9.
Anxious, because I'm ready to leave. NOW!
Determined to make today a great day. Waking up to sunshine and turning on some good music will do that to ya!
Loving my life right now, and all the people in it. And all the clutter I've eliminated from it.
Cold, because of the draft coming through the window next to my computer desk...but I like to look outside while I blog and ish.
Excited, because I've been sans-creamy crack (relaxer) since May now, and yesterday a young man at my job complimented me on my au-natural look. My hair hadn't been "done" in about 5 days... I did a curly set on like...I don't even remember what day last week. My hair is still looking great. Speaking of that, I'm
Thankful that I can sleep, wake up, remove my satin sleep cap, and GO! No extra hair junk needed!
Sad, because my beautiful younger cousin is now one of "those girls" at school who gets picked on because she "thinks she's all that"...and has been suspended for defending herself from a jealous girl who yanked her hair because she wanted to see if it was fake. When will our young ladies stop hating one another??
x0x0♥
Happy, because this time next week I'll be in Cedar Falls (Iowa) with my love...on cloud 9.
Anxious, because I'm ready to leave. NOW!
Determined to make today a great day. Waking up to sunshine and turning on some good music will do that to ya!
Loving my life right now, and all the people in it. And all the clutter I've eliminated from it.
Cold, because of the draft coming through the window next to my computer desk...but I like to look outside while I blog and ish.
Excited, because I've been sans-creamy crack (relaxer) since May now, and yesterday a young man at my job complimented me on my au-natural look. My hair hadn't been "done" in about 5 days... I did a curly set on like...I don't even remember what day last week. My hair is still looking great. Speaking of that, I'm
Thankful that I can sleep, wake up, remove my satin sleep cap, and GO! No extra hair junk needed!
Sad, because my beautiful younger cousin is now one of "those girls" at school who gets picked on because she "thinks she's all that"...and has been suspended for defending herself from a jealous girl who yanked her hair because she wanted to see if it was fake. When will our young ladies stop hating one another??
x0x0♥
My First Love...♥
On facebook, I recently added a girl who went to church with me years ago. She's about 15 or 16 I think (couldn't tell exactly because you know the young'ns don't put their birth year on their profiles). Anyway, yesterday she changed her relationship status from 'In a Relationship' to 'Engaged' to her lil' boyfriend.
At first I was irritated, as I am everytime I see someone overestimating their relationship status on there. No ring? No proposal? No wedding date? You're not engaged. No marriage license? You aren't married. Simple as that. No commitment? You aren't even in a relationship. But I digress...
Then I started thinking about the boyfriend I had during high school. We were together for my entire sophomore and junior year of high school. We were basically one of those "forever" looking couples. Clearly two years is a looonnnngggg time in high school. If I had a facebook back then, I'd have probably been one of the girls with 'Engaged to __________' on her profile lol.
We broke up after a series of unfortunate events during the summer before senior year. He ended up dropping out, becoming a weedhead I think, and...yeah. Last I heard, he'd knocked a chick up and he, said chick, and their offspring were living in his mama's house.
It's crazy, because of course no one could tell me at the time that this guy wasn't gonna be my man FOREVER lol. I don't doubt that I loved him or anything like that. I don't regret the relationship. It taught me a lot. Good and bad. It's just crazy to me how life works out. My mom abhorred this dude. I mean she couldn't STAND him! Somehow moms just know. Even though I didn't think it was fair of her to judge him, everything she predicted came to pass. Our demise. His demise. All that.
How often do we end up marrying our first loves? I don't know many people, especially of my generation, who have become lasting high school sweethearts. To me, that's stuff from storybooks and movies. I'd love to meet a couple like that, who's living it. Happily. None of that 'oh, we were high school sweethearts then she got pregnant so our parents made us get married and now we can't stand each other' ish. Like real, legit, long-lasting first loves.
It's crazy because I've never referred to this guy as my first love until right now, in this post. I always say 'my high school boyfriend' because he was the only relationship I had during high school. It was that serious, lol. Now I can't even say his name. I used to dwell on the memories back then. Now they're tucked away in some secure part of my LTM (long-term memory) and believe me, they aren't retrieved too often. Actually, ever. Until people who knew us as an 'Us' bring the relationship up. To this day, people from my alma mater STILL ask me about him. Five years after the fact. I haven't spoken to him since then. There was no backtracking, none of that. I'm good at the whole severing ties thing. Especially when I'm hurt. Still though, funny how life happens.
Yep, that's some mid-day depth for y'all lol...
x0x0♥
At first I was irritated, as I am everytime I see someone overestimating their relationship status on there. No ring? No proposal? No wedding date? You're not engaged. No marriage license? You aren't married. Simple as that. No commitment? You aren't even in a relationship. But I digress...
Then I started thinking about the boyfriend I had during high school. We were together for my entire sophomore and junior year of high school. We were basically one of those "forever" looking couples. Clearly two years is a looonnnngggg time in high school. If I had a facebook back then, I'd have probably been one of the girls with 'Engaged to __________' on her profile lol.
We broke up after a series of unfortunate events during the summer before senior year. He ended up dropping out, becoming a weedhead I think, and...yeah. Last I heard, he'd knocked a chick up and he, said chick, and their offspring were living in his mama's house.
It's crazy, because of course no one could tell me at the time that this guy wasn't gonna be my man FOREVER lol. I don't doubt that I loved him or anything like that. I don't regret the relationship. It taught me a lot. Good and bad. It's just crazy to me how life works out. My mom abhorred this dude. I mean she couldn't STAND him! Somehow moms just know. Even though I didn't think it was fair of her to judge him, everything she predicted came to pass. Our demise. His demise. All that.
How often do we end up marrying our first loves? I don't know many people, especially of my generation, who have become lasting high school sweethearts. To me, that's stuff from storybooks and movies. I'd love to meet a couple like that, who's living it. Happily. None of that 'oh, we were high school sweethearts then she got pregnant so our parents made us get married and now we can't stand each other' ish. Like real, legit, long-lasting first loves.
It's crazy because I've never referred to this guy as my first love until right now, in this post. I always say 'my high school boyfriend' because he was the only relationship I had during high school. It was that serious, lol. Now I can't even say his name. I used to dwell on the memories back then. Now they're tucked away in some secure part of my LTM (long-term memory) and believe me, they aren't retrieved too often. Actually, ever. Until people who knew us as an 'Us' bring the relationship up. To this day, people from my alma mater STILL ask me about him. Five years after the fact. I haven't spoken to him since then. There was no backtracking, none of that. I'm good at the whole severing ties thing. Especially when I'm hurt. Still though, funny how life happens.
Yep, that's some mid-day depth for y'all lol...
x0x0♥
UnGRATEful B*tches...♥
The stupidity that seeps from peoples' mouths never ceases to amaze me.
OK, so I have this cousin who attends my school. She's a sophomore, though. Young and dumb. And lazy. Spoiled. All that good stuff...
So anyway, we didn't really fall out, I kinda just cut her off a month or two ago, because she's one of those people who only calls/texts/facebooks you when they need something. I don't play that. I have no children, and it's enough work taking care of myself. Why the hell would I waste my life taking care of you too? I mean, it started off small. Asking for a ride here and there, which irritates me enough as it is. But this chick had the audacity to ask me if she could borrow one of my TVs. Seriously?? My first thought: What the hell kinda crackhead azz question is that?? People ask to borrow ink pens, or flat irons (and that's pushing it)....but a TV?? So I politely told her no. I don't have a TV you can borrow. We haven't really talked since then, which quite frankly is fine with me.
Fast forward:
I stop to see my Daddy before I left my hometown last weekend. He tells me that over Thanksgiving dinner, he was asking how everyone was doing in school and whatnot, and he asked my cousin if she'd found a job yet. Her response was that she hadn't found a job because I wasn't helping her, and she couldn't work at the mall because if she did, I wouldn't take her and pick her up from work.
Now...at this point, I'm laughing. And it wasn't a "Wow, that's hilarious" laugh...it was more like one of those laughs some of us get before we commence to hurting somebody's feelings, and calling them everything but a child of God. I was LiVid!
1) Why are you talking ish about me to our family, making me look like this evil ass meanie?
I know, my family knows me enough to see through her BS, but still...it's the principle.
2) You're a damn lie!
Hell, I've done everything but fill out the freakin' applications and go on interviews for your ass! WTF?? Prime example:: I was chatting with a girl in my class who works at the student rec center, and she mentioned that they were looking to hire freshmen and sophomores who'd be able to work for a couple years, instead of having to hire and train new people each semester. Perfect for her! It's on campus (she has no car) and it's easy (all they have to do is like swipe people's ID when they enter the rec)...what more could you ask for??
Told her about the job opening, even told her that she could apply online! Spoke to her a few weeks later and guess what? She'd never even pursued it.
Then you sit and tell people I'M not helping you? B*tch please. SMH. Don't even get me started on the "she won't take me and pick me up" comment. Once again, SMH...
x0x0♥
My People, My People...♥
Life has been pretty Blah for the last few days... despite the inevitable randomness that a college student & sales associate encounters lol...
HOWEVER... my moment of amusement for the day:
I'm at work, and 3 Black girls come into the store. It's around 11 am...closer to noon maybe, so not too many people have gotten on my damn nerves come into the store thus far. Read: I'm still in a genuinely cheery mood. So these females enter, and I speak to all of them. One stares at me for a second then rolls her eyes, while the others walk around a fixture, to the opposite side of the store. Whatever. I go up to them and ask if I can help them find anything... get ignored again. *enter: wooosah...* So then all three magically find their way to our counter, behind which my manager was standing, doing some paperwork. The counter is also where we keep the stands that hold our rings. So now all three females are standing next to each other in front of the counter, and in front of the rings. Since we'd received shipment this morning, all the slots in the jewelry stand were filled. Clearly we all know what time it is... so I go over to ask the females AGAIN if I can help them, and all of a sudden two of them leave.
So now there's one thievin' ass h*e female left, still looking at the rings in the jewelry holder, and by now a FedEx delivery woman (older white lady) has entered the store, and she left her little push cart thingy in our store's doorway...she's behind the counter talking to my manager, as manager signs for something. All of a sudden, I hear the "customer" speak, and here's the conversation:
"Customer": 'What, you think somebody gon' take somethin from yo store or somethin??"
Manager: ...silence...
FedEx: *looks up*
"Customer": "Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, you watchin' yo stuff like somebody tryna take it!"
FedEx: "Yes, I'm watching my cart..."
"Customer": "Yeah I seen you watchin' my sisters when they left the store like they was gonna take your lil sh*t"
FedEx: "Well, it's kinda my job to keep up with my cart..."
"Customer": "Yeah, you betta be watchin yo stuff...{inaudible ish talking as "customer" exits the store}"
Clearly, this holiday season is off to a kick-ass start already...
PS: After "customer" leaves the store, I go over to the ring stand, just for kicks. Three of the rings are missing, out of a stand that was completely filled. Then people like this wonder why they get treated the way they do in stores. I've learned to not even let them get under my skin, because there is so much more to be irritated about than some skeezers who have to go to the mall to steal a 10-dollar rhinestone ring.
x0x0♥
Freshmen.♥
I can't stand ign'ant ass people.
I'm sorry, but Thursday is my long day, I'm in class from about 9 AM til 9 PM. That's a whole lot of time to see a whole lot of ish that makes me wanna smack a whole lotta crap out of a whole bunch of people.
Anyway, I'm in one of my classes, and it's a lecture hall, so I sit way in the back, where there's a seat by itself. I'm slightly antisocial when it comes to classrooms full of nasty, germy, nose-picking, ear-digging, swine flu infested people. So getting to class extra early to maintain my coveted seat is well worth it.
I digress.
So while I'm chillin' in my corner, taking notes on my beloved John Coltrane♥♥♥♥♥, some hoodrat sitting in the FIRST ROW has the rude ass audacity to answer her cell phone in the MIDDLE of my teacher's lecture! Not in a whisper, or any other slick, playing-it-off type of manner. Just answers her phone. As if this TA isn't in the middle of a sentence. What?
Where do thesebitches people come from?? Who raised you?
Then, as if that wasn't ign'ant enough, she gets an attitude when the teacher calls her out!
("Umm could you not answer your phone in the middle of class?")
I think the request is rather reasonable...don't you?
I mean, I could see if the circumstances were emergency-related, but the chick hung the phone up, so obviously the phone call wasn't too important.
Ugh. I can't deal with people. I was SMH so hard. Eye rolling. All lat.
Welp, that's my rant for the day.
x0x0♥
I'm sorry, but Thursday is my long day, I'm in class from about 9 AM til 9 PM. That's a whole lot of time to see a whole lot of ish that makes me wanna smack a whole lotta crap out of a whole bunch of people.
Anyway, I'm in one of my classes, and it's a lecture hall, so I sit way in the back, where there's a seat by itself. I'm slightly antisocial when it comes to classrooms full of nasty, germy, nose-picking, ear-digging, swine flu infested people. So getting to class extra early to maintain my coveted seat is well worth it.
I digress.
So while I'm chillin' in my corner, taking notes on my beloved John Coltrane♥♥♥♥♥, some hoodrat sitting in the FIRST ROW has the rude ass audacity to answer her cell phone in the MIDDLE of my teacher's lecture! Not in a whisper, or any other slick, playing-it-off type of manner. Just answers her phone. As if this TA isn't in the middle of a sentence. What?
Where do these
Then, as if that wasn't ign'ant enough, she gets an attitude when the teacher calls her out!
("Umm could you not answer your phone in the middle of class?")
I think the request is rather reasonable...don't you?
I mean, I could see if the circumstances were emergency-related, but the chick hung the phone up, so obviously the phone call wasn't too important.
Ugh. I can't deal with people. I was SMH so hard. Eye rolling. All lat.
Welp, that's my rant for the day.
x0x0♥
It's Barbie, B*tch!♥
So I’m listening to music today, and Keyshia Cole’s “I Should Have Cheated” came up in my iTunes shuffle… Every time I hear that song, I think of it’s video, and the first time I saw Keyshia’s hair (at the time). You remember, the red and blond weave? I’m sure you remember.
Know what I remember? I remember all the hoodrats girl fans going out trying to emulate that same hairstyle. As much as the term “epic fail” irritates me, it must be said. EPIC FAIL! There may be mixed opinions about it, but at the time, I loved the hair on Keyshia. On lil’ Peaches & nem from around the way? Using the dollar pack of hair from the Chinese store? Not so much….
Remember Alicia Keys’ “Fallin” video? Where she’s at the piano and her hair’s all braided and fancy-like, and above each ear there’s the braids that come forward, instead of back like the rest of her braids? Yeah…she worked it. Other attempters? Not so much. Fast forward to today. Now every girl (and some boys) with some multi-colored clothes, funny-lookin’ glasses, and big weave thinks she/he’s a Barbie doll, just because this Nicki Minaj character started the wanna-be craze. iCan’t.
x0x0♥
Cha Ching, Mommy! ♥
I’m watching Divorce Court yesterday, and the couple consisted of a woman who CLEARLY had gold-digger tendencies, and a guy who apparently bought her love in the first place. The guy, nevertheless, seemed to be a good man and a great father to their 4-year old daughter and even younger son.
The wife was just a hot-ass mess altogether, and just when I thought I was too done with her, she opened her mouth and revealed that 1) her 4-year old daughter had a cell phone {insert side eye} and 2) aforementioned daughter wanted a credit card. Something is really wrong when your child even knows what a credit card is before they’ve even hit kindergarten. I’m still afraid of credit cards and I’m a senior in college! Oh, but don’t worry… Mommy promised toddler that she couldn’t have the credit card until she turned FIVE! Smh…
What are people teaching their daughters these days? I won’t even get on the sons, that’s a whole ’nother blog. But as women, why don’t people realize that everything you do, your daughters will absorb and store in their memories. Whether they want to or not. All the things you think kids don’t pay attention to, or won’t remember…think about the things you remember from your own childhood. You were pretty young, weren’t you? So why is it hard to believe that you’re presenting your daughters with the first script they’ll ever read as to how to conduct themselves as ladies? We have got to do better…
I have a cousin who is 5 years younger than me, and was the sweetest thing you could have ever met. Until her father re-entered the picture and began to spoil her rotten. She’s still got a hint of the sweetness, but now she’s 16, has had her own car for over a year (minus the license), will not wear anything that isn’t designer, and is currently driving her father’s Range Rover. In the last couple years, she’s become one of “those” girls. You went to high school…you know what I mean. What’s wrong with this pic?
What values are your daughters learning when credit cards and shopping sprees replace quality time and family activities? My only hope for my cousin is that she doesn’t grow up as the type of woman who believes she’s not supposed to work for anything, and who will only be with a man for the material things he can provide, forgetting about the love and affection that should come with any relationship.
x0x0♥
Can You, like, Die Already?♥
To Whom it May Concern:
Can we PLEASE have a funeral for the word 'Swagg'? It's been in a comatose stage for quite some time now, and I'd love it if we could just pull that plug. I mean, auto-tune died. Who's gonna do the honors for Swagg? I'm sure we can find some willing party to assist. I'll give the eulogy myself.
Respectfully Yours,
x0x0♥
Can we PLEASE have a funeral for the word 'Swagg'? It's been in a comatose stage for quite some time now, and I'd love it if we could just pull that plug. I mean, auto-tune died. Who's gonna do the honors for Swagg? I'm sure we can find some willing party to assist. I'll give the eulogy myself.
Respectfully Yours,
x0x0♥
Black Girls Lost...♥
Why do so many females believe that their happiness begins and ends with a boy/man? Is this a gender thing? A race thing? A society thing? I can only speak on what I've seen.
When I left home and moved here to attend college, I realized a lot of things, among them:
1) Most college boys are even more disgusting than I was warned.
2) Everyone feels like they have something to prove.
3) A lot of girls are sluts.
I began to observe my surroundings more because I was away from home, in a new environment, and out on my own. Everyone seemed to be trying to live up to this persona, but really so many people were concerned with putting up fronts, and watching others’ fronts, that they aren’t even enrolled past their first semester. Girls act the way they act to get guys’ attention, and the guys act like they’re 'too cool' to impress their guy friends, even though they love the female attention…just personas and foolishness that they hopefully grow out of at some point in life. I think people believe they can get away with more on a college campus, because there are so many people (as opposed to a high school environment) that maybe they won’t have to worry about everyone knowing their business. WRONG. In college, everyone knows someone who knows someone who…you get the idea. People have big mouths. The things you see and hear about on college campuses, in dorms, nightclubs, etc. are a little shocking to sheltered kids like myself, but after the shock comes the "what the hell" factor. I was standing on campus waiting for class to start a couple weeks ago and out of nowhere, two guys nearby began talking and laughing about a train they ran on a girl in one of the dorms the night before. Didn’t censor anything…This alleged train included the two guys, another friend, and one of the guys’ brother. WHAT the HELL???
What makes these girls act the way they do? It’s not even necessarily ugly girls who act a fool when they get a little male attention. And promiscuity isn’t the main thing I’m directing this towards, it’s more of a consequence of the bigger problem: females’ need for validation. Half the things these girls wear, do, and say are CLEARLY seeking out validation from their male peers. Why? Are they searching for love and affection? Acknowledgement? Attention? Or is it simply acceptable to conduct yourself like this, just because you're "in college, and this is supposed to be the best time of your life"?
I just feel lucky to be one of the women who realizes a man’s validation does not make or break me. I love it when my boyfriend says sweet things, and compliments me on my beauty (inside and out), but I recognize that whether he voices those things or not, they still exist. I’m still beautiful inside and out, regardless of someone verbally telling me that I am. My beauty was there long before my boyfriend came along, and if ever God feels like removing him from my life, my beauty will still be here. I wish all women could feel this way, because I also know how it felt at the other end of the spectrum, not believing in your own beauty. Luckily, with God and a great family, I learned. I’m a better, confident, self-motivating and self-indulgent person today because of it. I believe that this is instrumental in my friendships, my relationship, and my general interaction with people on a regular basis. My boyfriend respects me, mentally, physically, AND emotionally. My friends (the real ones who’ve outlasted the fake ones that I’ve weeded through) respect me. My family adores me. I don’t know what people have to say about me behind my back. Nor do I care. Honestly. I just know that my attitude and my aura command nothing less than respect. No one has the power to make me feel less than spectacular. My mama taught me better than that. And I’ll teach my children the same.
x0x0♥
CALL ME...♥
When did Social Networking become so prevalent in everyday life and interaction?
These days, phone calls and visits are being replaced by texts and tweets. When there’s something intimate or important that you need to tell someone, TELL them! All this other stuff is impersonal. The recipient can’t hear the tone of your voice, or see the love/hate/lust/whatever in your eyes. Adding a smiley face at the end may seem to help, but really nothing beats old-fashioned voice-to-voice or face-to-face communication…
I’m sure the original purpose of social networks was to bring people closer, or even to meet new people. It's become so much more complicated, though. Here’s where I think social networking went wrong…
1) Everybody and Their Mama Has One…Literally!
It seems like everyone is a member of SOME social network (i.e., Twitter, Facebook. MySpace, etc) these days. I’m talking old people, young people, employers, professors, pastors, mamas, baby-mamas, pre-teens, toddlers, pets…Enough said.
2) It’s replacing personal communication.
Somewhere along the line, social networking evolved into a primary form of communication, between friends, between relatives, and even between couples. What happened to the days when social networking was used to pass the time during a boring class, or look up old classmates? Nowadays our lives are drowning in a sea of Tweets, texts, IMs, and other forms of technological quickies. People are even communicating sexually through text messages lol…
3) It’s a little TOO open for some of us…
Every day, celebrities are seen in the media because some aspect of their lives has been exposed on Twitter. No one has a private page, especially most celebrities, which is completely beyond the scope of my understanding. I won’t lie, I got swept up in the Twitter craze, but after months of not even using it because of the never-ending “site maintenance”, the stalker-ish vibe, and the otherwise boringness of it all, I deleted my Twitter page. How do you live your life when you’re updating it via Twitter every 5 seconds?
P.S.::I could give two sh*ts about your gynecology appointment at 3:00, or that your baby's poop smelled like dandelions yesterday.
4) Friendships Begin…and End…Online.
It’s occurred to me that social networking has also been influential in a lot of arguments and even failed relationships and friendships. I, personally, have a history ofcussing bitches out letting off steam via email, Facebook, and MySpace… I don’t feel bad about it either. Why? Because half the time, someone either said some off the wall ish to me online, or this was a last resort way to contact them and tell them how I felt! That brings up another issue: impersonal communicating via text and the web give some people the balls they never had. People will say what they would/could never say in person. Gossip, criticism, and a lot of true feelings are floating around cyberspace, and the problem is that these “true feelings” aren’t being shared between the people they’re meant to be shared with. Now, they’re being shared with friend lists, cyber stalkers, and anyone else that they may be visible to.
5) Unintentional Cyber-Dating.
Early in my relationship, I had a couple almost-arguments due to Facebook. I won’t go into specifics, but there was no infidelity or anything like that involved. Just realize that 1) It’s not healthy to have to check up on every step your significant other takes, and 2) your significant other probably has friends or acquaintances who are prone to posting idiotic euphemisms on social networks, and you can’t control what they do. This can be a huge problem, especially in the beginning when relationships are still blossoming. If you’ve already shared your entire lives on Twitter and Facebook all day, and your significant other has already checked your page or status updates, what the hell is there to talk about at the end of the day? You’re not getting to know one another, you’re getting to know each other’s cyber self!
Solution: STOP LETTING FACEBOOK/TWITTER/MYSPACE/etc ACTIVITY RUN YOUR RELATIONSHIP!! Once I learned this, I became a lot more carefree and happy, thus making my Honeydip happy.
x0x0♥
These days, phone calls and visits are being replaced by texts and tweets. When there’s something intimate or important that you need to tell someone, TELL them! All this other stuff is impersonal. The recipient can’t hear the tone of your voice, or see the love/hate/lust/whatever in your eyes. Adding a smiley face at the end may seem to help, but really nothing beats old-fashioned voice-to-voice or face-to-face communication…
I’m sure the original purpose of social networks was to bring people closer, or even to meet new people. It's become so much more complicated, though. Here’s where I think social networking went wrong…
1) Everybody and Their Mama Has One…Literally!
It seems like everyone is a member of SOME social network (i.e., Twitter, Facebook. MySpace, etc) these days. I’m talking old people, young people, employers, professors, pastors, mamas, baby-mamas, pre-teens, toddlers, pets…Enough said.
2) It’s replacing personal communication.
Somewhere along the line, social networking evolved into a primary form of communication, between friends, between relatives, and even between couples. What happened to the days when social networking was used to pass the time during a boring class, or look up old classmates? Nowadays our lives are drowning in a sea of Tweets, texts, IMs, and other forms of technological quickies. People are even communicating sexually through text messages lol…
3) It’s a little TOO open for some of us…
Every day, celebrities are seen in the media because some aspect of their lives has been exposed on Twitter. No one has a private page, especially most celebrities, which is completely beyond the scope of my understanding. I won’t lie, I got swept up in the Twitter craze, but after months of not even using it because of the never-ending “site maintenance”, the stalker-ish vibe, and the otherwise boringness of it all, I deleted my Twitter page. How do you live your life when you’re updating it via Twitter every 5 seconds?
P.S.::I could give two sh*ts about your gynecology appointment at 3:00, or that your baby's poop smelled like dandelions yesterday.
4) Friendships Begin…and End…Online.
It’s occurred to me that social networking has also been influential in a lot of arguments and even failed relationships and friendships. I, personally, have a history of
5) Unintentional Cyber-Dating.
Early in my relationship, I had a couple almost-arguments due to Facebook. I won’t go into specifics, but there was no infidelity or anything like that involved. Just realize that 1) It’s not healthy to have to check up on every step your significant other takes, and 2) your significant other probably has friends or acquaintances who are prone to posting idiotic euphemisms on social networks, and you can’t control what they do. This can be a huge problem, especially in the beginning when relationships are still blossoming. If you’ve already shared your entire lives on Twitter and Facebook all day, and your significant other has already checked your page or status updates, what the hell is there to talk about at the end of the day? You’re not getting to know one another, you’re getting to know each other’s cyber self!
Solution: STOP LETTING FACEBOOK/TWITTER/MYSPACE/etc ACTIVITY RUN YOUR RELATIONSHIP!! Once I learned this, I became a lot more carefree and happy, thus making my Honeydip happy.
x0x0♥
Couldn't Afford a Car, So She Named Her Daughter...What???
Question: What's in a name?
Answer: PLENTY!
Answer: PLENTY!I wonder how many employers have seen names that just make them get a whiff of hot sauce, or that prompt the "Love that chicken from Popeye's" jingle to play in their heads? Now, make no mistake, I'm all for choosing names with meaning, or sentimental value, or passing family names on to future generations...but when your child's name has more prefixes than an elementary schoolteacher's lesson plan, there's a problem. It should not take Baby Lataquandanishiyanna all the way until junior high school to perfect the art of spelling her FIRST name. It seems like some people are competing to see who can add the most letters in their babies' names! The "Oh, that letter is silent" excuse is only plausible at a rate of once-per-name. If that. What's the point of silent ass letters any damn way? If they're silent, they might as well be invisible too! But, I digress...Do people honestly not think about their children's futures when they're going through the name-choosing process? I mean we name our babies after liquor, cars, name brands...when does it end? Talk about buying into stereotypes. We've got Keisha from 'round the way walking down the block pushing her twins, Tequila and Toyota in the stroller! Oh, don't worry. Their cousins Denali and Hennessey are close by, carrying the diaper bags. What sounds so cute and looks pretty in your cursive writing may not be so cute in about 25 years, when Baby LaLa (of course, that would be Lataquandanishiyanna's nickname, lest it take everyone 10 minutes and a couple ibuprofen to say her full name) is all grown up and beginning her career search. Of course, this is all assuming that her applications make it into the "Maybe" pile on Bill Whoeverschmidt's desk. Let's face it, no employer would ever admit this, but they DO get some type of categorization in their mind of who you are, based on your name. It's not right, it's not fair, it's stereotypical at best and racist at worst....but it's true. You think Emily Van Buren's application is going to get the same sideways glance that Shawntavieteria Jenkin's gets in the Human Resources Office? All I'm saying is, stop naming these babies after things that will begin haunting them as soon as the ink dries on the birth certificate. In case you're confused, this includes but is not limited to the following: vehicles, odd combinations of you and your baby mama/daddy's name, beverages (alcoholic or otherwise. Tropicana is NOT acceptable), the baby's first noise when he/she slid out of the womb, etc. Just don't do it....Now, granted, we're living in an age where people are naming their kids Apple (and trust, it gets much worse)...but these kids have rich ass parents, trust funds, and enough money to never have to touch a job application. What about lil' Corolla an' nem? SMH...
x0x0♥
x0x0♥
You're a Jerk...♥
You know what really grinds my gears?? When people are so starved for attention that they go out of their way to constantly attempt being "different"... For example, I know a person who is constantly dressing outside-the-box, which is all fine and dandy, you know? It's cool. If you're into that, you can appreciate this person's style. But then anytime this person speaks, its either "Well I've BEEN wearing ________, everybody else needs to catch up", or "This is my style, everybody who just started wearing it is copying". First of all, if your name isn't on the label...its NOT your style... Please believe, even if you--a young kid in OHIO of all places-- are hip to a certain trend or designer, best believe, the rest of the world was hip to it WAY longer than you were! Lol...really though! So there's no need to always voice these things...If you're truly being you, and dressing the way that makes you happy, your style will speak for itself! You can just do you, without all the extra...because then it turns into cockiness, and that's annoying. There are so many people who dress/talk/act a certain way SIMPLY because no one else in their vicinity does it, but there's a vast difference between being a trendsetter by nature, and doing/saying/wearing things just because you know other people will say something about it! If you're not doing it for you, then it's not who you really are...which makes it FAKE...which makes YOU fake!! Get it?? Lol...
x0x0♥
x0x0♥
"It's 'cause We BLACK, Right?"...
I'm SO sick of people!! This is super random, considering I didn't have to work today, but I'm getting so fed-up with people trying to steal from the store I work at...Why do some people believe it's fair to try to redeem their 5-finger discount every time they come to our store??? My thoughts are always the same: If you think we're too expensive, LEAVE!!! Go to another store that offers plus-sized clothing! We're not the only one! We may be the best (lol) but there are cheaper stores... It just kills me because there are so many things I've seen and learned since I began working in retail. There are people who will blatantly steal from your store, then wear the stolen merchandise the next time they visit your store!! Like really??? As if we're not going to recognize you and follow every move you make this time around??
Then we get the girls who are, for lack of a better term, Ghetto. They enter the store as loudly as they can, attracting attention to the fact that 1) There are WAY too many of them, huddled too close together in front of a rack and 2) Nothing they're wearing gives off the appearance that they shop regularly at our store (i.e. big, boyish bomber jackets, run-over tennis shoes...baggy clothes...all things that our store doesn't even sell!) and wonder why the salespeople on the floor are eyeing them. Lol.... then when they get caught in the act it's "Why y'all gotta follow us every time we come in the store, dang! It's 'cause we Black, ain't it???"
...Clearly any person of any color is capable of stealing...but it literally burns me up inside when I hear this phrase, because the reality is that all the times I've been present during a theft incident, most of the thieves WERE in fact Black! There have been exceptions, of course, but guess what? The race card doesn't work on me lol!! So it's not as if I'm out to "target" my own! I'm simply saying, don't reinforce the fact that people target us already! Duh! Such a mess....
x0x0 ♥
Then we get the girls who are, for lack of a better term, Ghetto. They enter the store as loudly as they can, attracting attention to the fact that 1) There are WAY too many of them, huddled too close together in front of a rack and 2) Nothing they're wearing gives off the appearance that they shop regularly at our store (i.e. big, boyish bomber jackets, run-over tennis shoes...baggy clothes...all things that our store doesn't even sell!) and wonder why the salespeople on the floor are eyeing them. Lol.... then when they get caught in the act it's "Why y'all gotta follow us every time we come in the store, dang! It's 'cause we Black, ain't it???"
...Clearly any person of any color is capable of stealing...but it literally burns me up inside when I hear this phrase, because the reality is that all the times I've been present during a theft incident, most of the thieves WERE in fact Black! There have been exceptions, of course, but guess what? The race card doesn't work on me lol!! So it's not as if I'm out to "target" my own! I'm simply saying, don't reinforce the fact that people target us already! Duh! Such a mess....
x0x0 ♥
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
LinkWithin
