No Holds Barred...

"I can't believe that it's over, baby....
But every bruise on my heart, you gave me."
--Ashanti {Over}.


I know I've been M.I.A. (again)...but it's not in vain. I promise.
I've been debating how much I wanted to share on here, for various reasons. Mainly, the situation I wrote about in my last post took some time for me to adjust to, and it's rather embarrassing for a Leo like myself...I'm not used to losing, failing, etc. But I was reminded by fellow bloggers, friends, and family members that there's strength in telling one's story. Writing has always been my only true form of release. When I write, I imagine myself sitting in the mirror telling the story to myself...In it's own strange, kooky way, it gives me clarity...
So I'll start from the beginning, for those who don't know me in "real life", those who do know me but never knew the whole story, those who only know bits & pieces, etc. 


When I was in high school...I met CB. I was involved with someone else at the time, so we became friends. He lived a couple states away, but we talked and wrote each other a LOT. After a few months, we became best friends. It took us both awhile to admit it (and by awhile, I mean like a year or so)...but obviously we became more than just friends. In 2006, a month into my freshman year of undergrad (he was still a senior in high school), I realized that I was in toooooo deep. But so was he. And at that moment, everything I ever saw for my future shifted. It all included him. A couple months later, we made it official. 
The next year, he went off to college. I'd say we held on pretty tough for awhile. His freshman year was a lot different than mine. He's an athlete, he went Greek, etc. Of course the distance has always been a factor, but at the time we had goals that included one another, so we made it work. Better than most are capable of making things work even in close proximity...Graduation seemed to be the light at the end of our romantic tunnel..
Fast forward to 2010...
The phone calls became fewer and farther between. In my heart of hearts, I knew that something was wrong, but of course I didn't want to admit it...or even speak it into existence. But I'm a woman. And we know.... Yes, men. We always know. What we choose to DO in response to that knowledge depends on the person. And personally, I wanted so badly to believe that this was the same person I'd fallen in love with back in high school...the person who wrote me poetry and 11-page letters, and wrote my name surrounded by hearts in the corners of the pages. But in retrospect, that smitten boy had grown into a slightly older BOY. A boy whom I don't recognize, or care to know at this point. 
When I wrote my last post, I was in a completely different headspace than the one I'm in right now. I'd just found out that CB had began seeing someone else. Obviously, right? Lol. But at the time, I was in such a cycle of emotion, and I couldn't fathom leaving the comfort zone that had been built during my relationship with him. I was willing to listen, to understand, to try to reconcile....and ultimately, to settle (which is a realization that I recently came to). I thought that my world as I knew it wouldn't, and couldn't survive the loss of the person I thought belonged in my fairy-tale ending. So I did what a lot of women do. I reached out. I remained calm. I asked the questions I wanted answers to. I avoided those that I didn't want to know the answers to. Never realizing that I was simply dragging out the inevitable...because when someone's got one foot out of the door, there usually isn't much chance of getting them to come back in. Anywho...none of it mattered. Because my efforts weren't even responded to. Literally. Like I said, writing is my release....so I went back to the basics. I wrote a letter. A very personal, very transparent letter. I didn't want there to be any mistaking my stance on the matter at hand...or my desired solution. The letter laid everything I felt (at the time) completely on the table...and I'm not good at the whole vulnerability thing...but again, I trusted that I was putting these emotions into the proper hands. Clearly I was mistaken. My letter was sent in mid-February. The last conversation before I sent that letter....is the last communication of any sort that I had with him. No response. No return-to-sender. Nothing. And that's how 4+ years of my love life ended. 
THEN, although I'd kept my mind from even dwelling on the elephant in the room (The Other Woman), a few days ago that little voice in my head spoke again...and I decided to do a little investigating. Lol... I don't trust anyone's information but my own these days, so I needed to find out first hand. When I did...I almost died. Laughing...... no, seriously...I laughed for a good 10 minutes when I saw who this chick was. I've never met her. Right now, I'm contemplating posting the pic of her that I posted on my FB wall when I found out (yes, I posted her pic. #ruthless)...just because I feel that you, as my loyal readers & cyber-friends deserve to laugh as wholeheartedly as I did that day. Yes, I think I'll post the pic. 
And, by no means do I think cheating is all about aesthetics....Obviously there's something about this girl that was worth CB sacrificing his relationship with me. What that something is, I'll probably never know. It doesn't even matter...because the fact that that there IS a "something" is enough for me to realize it's time to let it go. I don't mean to boast, but damn if I don't brag...I mean, I really feel like he and I could have had it all. You'll never meet a person more loyal than me. I'm educated, raised well, take-home-to-mama type, well-mannered, well-dressed, gorgeous. Lady-in-the-streets.... lol... all that good stuff. So what is it that this girl gave him? Who knows. 
The thing that hurts me the most is not the fact that I was cheated on by someone who I put the utmost trust into....I know this doesn't seem major to some people, and that chicks get cheated on erryday. Marriages end over infidelity...blah blah blah. But this is a first for me, and I've handled it the best way that I knew how. The thing that hurt me the most is the way that this situation was handled from his end. I won't go into detail about the letter I sent him, but just know that the bond I've had with this person since high school was so strong that I was willing to give up what we had, and be friends...that's how it all began anyway, right? I know people say "I want him/her to be happy even if it's not with me", but I sincerely meant that. I still mean it, after everything. So for me to open myself up to him, after ALL that I'd been put through...and receive no response? No acknowledgment that I'd poured my soul out in the form of ink from a ball-point pen? That's what hurts.
I keep asking myself how we ended up here... I don't have an answer, but every day that I sit back and think of what could have been (both good AND bad), I'm thankful. I don't have to see the face of betrayal everyday. I guess the long-distance thing was a gift and a curse. I didn't make the life changes that I had every intention of making (moving out to where he attends school, and possibly entering a graduate program there). I can't even imagine what I'd be feeling had I altered my entire life for someone who has no place for me in theirs. But again...I'm thankful. What's next for me? I'm not sure. I feel really "new" in the whole love scene. I've been with the same person virtually my entire adulthood thus far (from age 18 to 22), and so I feel like I have to go back and develop all the things that single, unattached people are supposed to develop lol... but I'm taking things a day at a time. I don't wish him any harm... I don't want to become bitter, but I do feel myself building a wall around my heart. To some, it may seem naive for me to have honestly expected forever with him...but I did. And it's rough starting all over. Involuntarily, I'd etched CB into my identity...so my first order of business is to continue on the path of success that I know has been paved for me. Hopefully he's on his own path. I don't know, for certain, that our paths will intertwine again. And for the first time in a long time, I'm feeling okay with that. ♥


PS: Here's that pic I promised y'all..... Lol. 
CB, some random kid, and CB's new chick. 

Day 6--Letter to a Stranger.♥

Dear Random Chick at the Mall,
You make me want to vomit... I understand that times are hard, and that you may not be able to afford things such as soap, body wash, feminine wash, body spray, deodorant, etc... but could you do us all a favor and keep your broke self at home? We do not wish to wallow in the scent of...whatever you call that odor reeking from your pores. It's not cute. It's not fly. It's not fresh {literally}...It's all bad. If you can enter my store at 2pm, leave at 2:15pm, and still have your B.O. lingering at 6pm, it's a problem. One would think that you'd have stopped by the many locations {ie, RiteAid, dollar stores, Walgreens, Kroger, etc} you inevitably have to pass traveling to the mall, in order to purchase the goods necessary to make yourself smell more like freshness and less like decomposition...but alas, the mall seemed to be more important. FYI, there's an aisle dedicated to you and your stench in basically every store everywhere. Hopefully you'll one day be inclined to pay said aisles a visit.
Thank You,
The Girl whose Nose and Stomach were Assaulted By Your Odor Last Week.♥

Kids...Stay in School. PLEASE! ♥

Sooo I'm on a random grocery store run for some cookies (mother nature likes to give me chocolate cravings along with my monthly gift....that b*tch...) and as I'm on my way to the self checkout, some hoodrat skeez random chick approaches me. The following conversation took place:


Chick: Oooooh, is that yo real hair?
Me: Yes lol...
Chick: OMG how you get it to be curly like dat?? I bet when you get a perm it's gone be lonnnngggg!
Me: I don't use relaxers (White people use perms. Educate yourself) 
Chick: I'm sayin' tho', when you finally get one it's gone be sooo long!
Me: I have natural hair. I don't use relaxers. I'll never get one...
Chick: Oh.. (confused face) but why?
Me: It's just not my 'thing' lol... *attempting to walk away*
Chick: So you just gone walk around with it nappy? That's stupid. LOL
Me: *Turns around* First of all (that's how u know I'm annoyed) all I do is wash, condition, and roll my hair. Every time you get a "perm", you're slapping all types of sodium hydroxide and other ish people use to clean drains and whatnot. I think that would make you the stupid one. Second, obviously my "nappy" hair can hold her own, it got your attention...Now, was there anything else you wanted to talk about? *with my Wish-a-bitch-would Face*


This is not the first conversation I've had like this, but all I'm gonna say is: If your grown ass doesn't have the sense God gave a goose, please don't approach me with this BS. My tolerance is maddd low. Thanks.
x0x0♥

The Infamous "N-word" ♥

OK so this is an exchange I had about a week or so ago, with a person I don’t know on FB. A friend of mine posted this status {Note: Everything is going to be word-for-word}: 
“If a black person who hangs with white people...gives one of their white friends the "permission" to say NIGGA...And then the white friend says it...feeling its ok..cuz they have permission...and THEN SAY IT TO YOU..and say "well..so and so gave me permission"...WHAT WILL BE UR RESPONSE..and what do u think of all dat?”
The subsequent comments started with about 5+ people…but ended up becoming a two-way between me and some {insert nicer word for ass wipe}. So I’ll just give you the exchange between the two of us. I‘ll refer to him as AW {my shorthand for ass wipe}. Feel free to comment on my opinion, his opinion, the exchange itself, insert your opinion, etc:


Me: I don't really care who says it, seeing as how the vast majority of us use it on the regular. its a word...just like any other. And as with other words, my position is this: if I don't say it to you, don't say it to me.


AW: @sonji that was a passive way to look at this word. We say it to one another cuz the world branded it to our being! We twisted it and made it ours! Not saying that is right to use it, but never invite the faces who gave us that to use it when talking to us! Ever! So it is not just a word! That word is our existence here!


AW: Understand fully you speak is all I am saying. When you have to get permission then you should not do it.


Me: If you choose to minimize your existence to a word, that's your choice. I choose not to. I don't feel I'm being passive, but I will admit to being desensitized to the word. Should I live my life being bothered about who's saying a word, and when they're saying it? I've been around enough white people as well as people of other races to know that most of them say it within their own circles, regardless of permission. I don't need to be patronized by being asked for permission. As I stated before, if I'm not saying the word to others, which I very rarely do, then I expect it not to be said to me. And if/when a person of another race decides to say it to me, I'll let them know the same thing.


AW: sonji that is why people of other races feel like they can say it ...cuz people like you choose to hide from shit until it come to you directly...if martin, malcolm, and others thought like that then we would be called worst by them..wake up and stop the passive shit!..you seem real smart!


Me: Right, because referring to everyone around us as nigga this, nigga that doesn't play a role in them saying it.?! When you hear one another saying the word, its all cool but someone else says it and you're ready to go off. If the word is so disrespectful, you should be going off whenEVER you hear it, even if its from your fellow "niggas". Do you? Call me passive all you want, but if you ask me, that bullshit "we took it and made it ours so we can say it til the cows come home" is a cop out anyway.


AW: sonji you are missing the point.....you are so missing the point..you need a class on the matter.....you have things twisted..you may even think because we have a black president that rasicm is over?...lol WRONG!..SPIKE LEE SAID IT BEST WAKE UP!!!!!


Me: Honey I'm not missing anything. I've heard your "point" a million times before, and I've spoken my opinion on the matter a million times before. I've heard this "point" from others who'd fight and argue to the last breath about the word, then catch their breath, walk off, and use the word as if their vocabularies don't know alternatives. I don't pity the hypocrite who does this, and is foolish enough to not expect the same behavior from others. That's my stance, and I respectfully decline replacing it with yours.


AW: @SONJI you are just passive..it is just a point that you need to take a stand on the matter...i do not walk around mad and argue but i know where i stand period they do not even talk like that around me as to where they will say it around your passive self..


Me: Its never been said to "my passive self", and I attribute that to the fact that I'm not the ignorant one going around saying it myself. I respect myself enough not to say the word, and so far its worked out for me. If taking your so called stand works for you, I'm not knocking it. I'm simply stating my experience, my opinion, and that doesn't make me any less "Black" or any less educated.


AW: nah you just passive and maybe hang out with white people..lol..go ahead...do you....do you.....


Me: I always do me. I'll def continue to do so. Have a good night.


AW: i believe you passive woman good night..


just thought I'd share...for entertainment purposes. SMH. 
x0x0♥

The Death Sandwich ♥

Excerpt from a random conversation on a FB status I posted a couple weeks ago, about what I've come to affectionately refer to as The Death Sandwich....


Sonji Sheree loves chicken just as much as the next person, but KFC is doing wayyy too much lol that big ol' death sandwich...

Friend K: LoL @ death sandwich!!!

Me: Lol girl for real, I'm lookin at this commercial like wtf, we using chicken breasts as bread now?? Lmfao

Seriously...what were they (KFC) thinking??? I'm sorry, but this is just the hottest mess I've seen in a long time...And then they have the nerve to include a promo for donating money to breast cancer research for every bucket of chicken people buy, or something like that. For real? Soooo we're all for curing breast cancer, yet we're selling hypertension, heart disease, and high cholesterol by the bucket? SMdH!
x0x0♥

Hey You Out There!! ♥

Yes, YOU. 
Seriously...this is getting REALLY old. 
First of all, this is my blog. My journal. My work. My thoughts. My opinions. 
Which I, like everyone else on this planet, am entitled to.
That being said, for the people {PPL, as in PLURAL, for those who think everything is specifically about them} who come to this page, and read things that they ASSUME are about them... perhaps you should just ASK. For the sake of clarification. Trust me, my answers just may surprise you. Don't bother assuming, because obviously that gets you nowhere since...well...your assumptions are already wrong!
I don't need to lie, pump-up, fabricate, etc anything I write on here; everything is pretty much real-life matters that affect more than just YOU. Therefore, if you see similarities between my posts and your life, that's either great for you, or it sucks for you, depending on your interpretation. That's your problem to deal with. I'm a blogger. I observe, I listen, and I write. That's my prerogative. The subject matter that my posts (if personal) pertain to is stuff that I've discussed with the person it pertains to, unless I directly state otherwise. For example, I haven't discussed THIS post with each person it pertains to, since I know all 4 of you will be reading it. Therefore, I decided upon a universal post that will address you all! If you're still unclear, feel free to call, text, comment, or whatever floats your boat. 
The concept is really quite simple. If I've talked about it with you, the post is probably about you. If I haven't, it's probably not. 
Thanks for reading! Which I'm absolutely sure you are, because...well, humans are just predictable like that. This isn't meant to portray an argumentative tone, or to be mean...I just want you to step back and realize that the world does NOT revolve around you...at least mine doesn't. ♥
x0x0 bitches! 

To Whom it May Concern:

Don't be mad at me because your life is being wasted on raggedy chix, funky clubs, and tacky lookin' urban clothing. Grow up, act your age, be a man, get some business, and take care of that sh!t. 
x0x0

I Am...♥

Sleepy, but trying to motivate myself to clean my house up before work (I know I won't feel like it afterwards!)
Happy, because this time next week I'll be in Cedar Falls (Iowa) with my love...on cloud 9.
Anxious, because I'm ready to leave. NOW!
Determined to make today a great day. Waking up to sunshine and turning on some good music will do that to ya!
Loving my life right now, and all the people in it. And all the clutter I've eliminated from it.
Cold, because of the draft coming through the window next to my computer desk...but I like to look outside while I blog and ish. 
Excited, because I've been sans-creamy crack (relaxer) since May now, and yesterday a young man at my job complimented me on my au-natural look. My hair hadn't been "done" in about 5 days... I did a curly set on like...I don't even remember what day last week. My hair is still looking great. Speaking of that, I'm
Thankful that I can sleep, wake up, remove my satin sleep cap, and GO! No extra hair junk needed!
Sad, because my beautiful younger cousin is now one of "those girls" at school who gets picked on because she "thinks she's all that"...and has been suspended for defending herself from a jealous girl who yanked her hair because she wanted to see if it was fake. When will our young ladies stop hating one another??
x0x0♥

Toot, Toot Snitches...♥

So the other day, I was told that I have "narcissistic tendencies"...to that person, I replied, "So? I don't care!" lol.
A person with narcissistic personality disorder:

• Reacts to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation
• Takes advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals
• Has feelings of self-importance
• Exaggerates achievements and talents
• Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love
• Has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
• Requires constant attention and admiration
• Disregards the feelings of others, lacks empathy
• Has obsessive self-interest
• Pursues mainly selfish goals

Obviously, looking at these points...hell yeah, I have narcissistic "tendencies". I fall in love with me every time I look in the mirror! What's your point? The thing that bugged me is that I was given this half-cocked opinion by a skeezer who loves to be the weepy-whiner of the bunch. "OMG, my hair is sooo ugly today !" (bitch, why'd you leave the house lookin like that, then??). "OMG, my thighs move when I run. I'm thinking about getting liposuction" {bitch, so what! Your whole leg moves when you run, you wanna get that nip-tucked off, too?!)...I could go on and on. The thing is, the girl doesn't even look bad. Dare I say, she's pretty. Anyone who knows me can tell you that when it comes to people, I can't STAND hearing someone fish for compliments and validation all day. Ugh! It's so annoying! Low self-esteem rears it's ugly head all too often. It's like, we see you! OK! So you can stop calling attention to yourself, and stop trying to act like you hate how you look, because in actuality, I'm the one who's smart enough to see right through it and recognize that you're actually quite enthralled with yourself. You just wanted everyone else to be, too. Well guess what? I called her out on it! She had the nerve to say, "I'm surprised you had time to notice anything, you're always tooting your own horn"...she had this look on her face that made me want to punch the shit out of her shake my head. I told her, "I'd rather toot my own horn than to wait my whole life for someone else to toot it for me." That's when she threw in that "narcissistic tendencies" BS... girl please. When you stop whining long enough to actually listen in class, earn a degree or two, and start practicing Psychology, then you can come throwing your half-cocked diagnosis over here. Until then, get the f*ck from 'round me! Go somewhere and get your Daddy-issues in check before you wind up knocked up in a campus bathroom talkin' about you're a virgin and didn't know you were pregnant...dummy.

x0x0♥

PS: Yes, I do feel better now. Thank you. :-)

Rude Awakening♥

Soooo a man called me at the crack of dawn earlier, waking me up from what felt like thee best sleep I'd ever partaken in in my entire life. I was LiVid!!! To make matters worse... it was a wrong number!! YEs! Calling me asking for some chick named Angel. WTF? 
So I politely tell him he has the wrong number, and he commences to hit on me! Talking about "Well what's your name? You sound gorgeous. I could get used to waking up to that voice..." I'm like is dude serious?? Do we still do that? Hit on random people who we've never met in life, over the phone? A hot mess. I never could get back to sleep, either. My whole day was spent in half-sleep drowsiness, all because of some jive turkey trying to play Telephone Lover. Ugh! I just hung up in his face. Ol' weirdo... 
x0x0♥

Why Are You Still Here?♥

I'm having a great week. I almost feel like something's going to go wrong soon, because things have been going so well lol. I'm currently thinking about all the things I hate about work, however. I seriously need to find the time to seek alternative employment. 
One of the managers at my store (part time) got fired last week. Is it bad that that was the best day ever, to me?? I was happy. She sucks at life, death, and everything in between. She's just whack. 
So imagine my immense pisstivity when we received a phone call from our district manager earlier this week, saying that this chick was to be 'suspended', not terminated. Ugh!! Ruined my day! Who did you have to suck off cry and whine to in order to keep this job?? She's lazy, she's obnoxious, she doesn't dress cute (I mean, we work in the fashion industry, for God's sake!), she's irresponsible (she forgot to put the deposit into the safe when she was closing one night), and on top of all this, she's actually come to work hungover before. Seriously? Overlooking the fact that you're clearly a lush, you waddle in looking like yesterday's hot mess and smelling like last nights bar? Triflin'..
x0x0♥

On the Road Again...♥

Today I went out with my best friend to set up her baby registries. She's having a little boy in March...It's still weird to me. This is the closest I've been to someone during pregnancy...I grew up in the 'hood and half the girls my age were pregnant while we were in middle school. As far as I was concerned, pregnancy was contagious and my mama wasn't raising nobody's babies! I didn't want any parts of that! So it's still kinda weird to me every time I see my bestie. I keep saying, "Oh my gosh, there's a human in there" lol.
On our way to one of the stores, we took the expressway but there must have been an accident or something up ahead because traffic was backed up. So my bestie (who was driving) decided to get off at the next exit. As we're getting off, a semi is behind us and he blows his horn at her. We're on the exit ramp, first of all, so who the F does he think he's rushing? Second of all, the traffic is literally moving between 0 and 5 mph. Again, who the F is he rushing?? So he blows again. What does my bestie do? She blows back. Over and over. And over. We got massive amounts of WTF stares. Lol. So by now we're pulling into a red light at the end of the exit ramp. Semi pulls up in the lane on our right, and clearly I flipped him off. Do you know this creep stopped his big ol' truck and hopped out (well not out, but hanging off that bar thing they hold on to to get into the truck) and points at us and yells "YOU GOT A PROBLEM????" 
....
.........
.............
My bestie and I simultaneously BUSTED out laughing at him, in his face. Loudly. Haha. You're mad, huh?
He got back in his lil' truck and rode off. All 5 feet of him. And his baggy overalls. Bwahahaha.


x0x0♥

Get Your Life Together!!♥

First of all, I'm trying super hard to work on my tolerance of stupidity...but part of me feels like I shouldn't have to. Lol. Sometimes I feel like a lot of peoples' parents must feel when they're trying to tell their kid something valuable but are getting that 'I'm-talking-to-a-brick-wall' feeling. Some things are just stupid.
One of the seasonals working at my store is sooo obsessed with creating some picture-perfect life that it's annoying. The girl is 20 years old. She's already living with her 'fiance' (whom she's been with for a year), planning their wedding for next year, and is on the list for adopting a child. SERIOUSLY??


1) You can't even get into a freaking bar yet. Why are you doing all this?
2) Her 'fiance' doesn't seem nearly as caught up with all this as she does.
3) I don't think he's 21 yet, either. Does she not realize that by the time next year gets here, both of them may be two very different people?? I mean I'm newly 21, but I know for sure that I'm not the same person I was a year ago. This point of life is full of transitioning...
4) Why the HECK are you on the adoption list??? You're working a seasonal position, minimum wage in retail. Is this baby going to come with a rich sponsor?? SMH. 
5) If I hear her talking about her damn wedding one. more. time. 
6) I almost smacked her because she looked at me like I was crazy when she asked me how long my bf and I have been together, then looked at me crazy when I said we weren't getting married until we were both done with school and living stable lives. Umm sorry...is that so wrong?? Lol. Weirdo. 
x0x0♥

Oh, No He Didn't!! ♥

So on Saturday nights, I go to this open mic thing called The Listening, and it's held in a lounge which is right next door to a tavern/bar/White people mecca. So as I'm leaving tonight, I walk past 3 White guys standing out front smoking, and I give a little polite smile since they were looking. All of a sudden I hear the one closest to me say, "She's a big girl"..
*Pause. Let me just state that, for the record, this statement did not piss me off. I'm a size 18, and I love me, and my man loves me, and plenty of other people (some who I don't even want to love me lol) and I'm one of those girls who honestly believes she's gorgeous, and no one can tell me anything to the contrary! Lol!*
Then another one responds, "Yeah, aren't they all?"....
Freeze. 
No, literally, I stopped in my tracks.
I turned around and, my Mama would come back to life and kill me if she knew I'd popped fly on a sidewalk full of half drunk White men on a Saturday night while walking alone but...I had to say something. I had to...
So I turn around and said, "Excuse you?" and they just looked at me with these stupid grins on their faces. So the one who called me a big girl takes a drag of nicotine and says, "Is there a problem?"... really?
So I told him, "Yeah, the problem is racist ass White people like you who need to learn how to keep your stereotypes to yourself, especially when I work in a store that sells clothes to more White women than a little bit, the majority of which are teetering on obesity while you're sitting here talking about Black women are all big!" and the guys were just looking at me all stupid. Then the guy threw his cigarette down and I just knew he was gonna try something but then he apologized. Yeah, he said "I'm sorry, ma'am, we were just f*cking around, we didn't mean anything by it"...and I was getting ready to walk away when the same racist a-hole who made the "Aren't they all?" comment decided to throw in another two cents. He asked me, "What the hell clothing store do you work in??" then he laughed. My response? "Go home and ask your fat ass mama, I'm sure she's one of our frequent shoppers."
Don't play me. I'm not the one. 
x0x0♥

My Rant of the Day...♥

I am soooooo irritated!!!
It's colder than a b*tch outside and I came to campus to the library (which is, of course, a hot mess during the last 2 weeks of the semester) to knock a couple papers out. When I'm at home, I start off good but then I end up taking a nap. Or eating...then taking a nap. Or watching Criminal Minds. Or all of the above. Basically, I end up doing everything except writing the paper. One time I went to throw something away and ended up cleaning my entire apartment...in the middle of writing a paper lol. I digress...
Anyway, I get to the library, find me a corner on the third floor, away from the skeezers who get dressed to come to the library because this is where all the Black dudes are this time of year...and away from the boys who are here looking at the skeezers... and I go on my class website...only to find that the freakin' professor hasn't even posted the instructions for the essay. UGH!!! He's such a freakin' spazz! One of the essays is due tomorrow, and the other is due next Thursday. We only have class once a week. Why is it that nothing ever gets posted when it's supposed to? I feel like a kid who's dad is always telling her he's gonna do something but then when the time comes, it's never done. SMH. Oh well... guess I'll facebook or something until I feel like getting up and going back out into the cold to get to my car. 
x0x0♥

UnGRATEful B*tches...♥

The stupidity that seeps from peoples' mouths never ceases to amaze me.

OK, so I have this cousin who attends my school. She's a sophomore, though. Young and dumb. And lazy. Spoiled. All that good stuff...

So anyway, we didn't really fall out, I kinda just cut her off a month or two ago, because she's one of those people who only calls/texts/facebooks you when they need something. I don't play that. I have no children, and it's enough work taking care of myself. Why the hell would I waste my life taking care of you too? I mean, it started off small. Asking for a ride here and there, which irritates me enough as it is. But this chick had the audacity to ask me if she could borrow one of my TVs. Seriously?? My first thought: What the hell kinda crackhead azz question is that?? People ask to borrow ink pens, or flat irons (and that's pushing it)....but a TV?? So I politely told her no. I don't have a TV you can borrow. We haven't really talked since then, which quite frankly is fine with me. 

Fast forward:

I stop to see my Daddy before I left my hometown last weekend. He tells me that over Thanksgiving dinner, he was asking how everyone was doing in school and whatnot, and he asked my cousin if she'd found a job yet. Her response was that she hadn't found a job because I wasn't helping her, and she couldn't work at the mall because if she did, I wouldn't take her and pick her up from work. 

Now...at this point, I'm laughing. And it wasn't a "Wow, that's hilarious" laugh...it was more like one of those laughs some of us get before we commence to hurting somebody's feelings, and calling them everything but a child of God. I was LiVid!

1) Why are you talking ish about me to our family, making me look like this evil ass meanie?

I know, my family knows me enough to see through her BS, but still...it's the principle.

2) You're a damn lie!

Hell, I've done everything but fill out the freakin' applications and go on interviews for your ass! WTF?? Prime example:: I was chatting with a girl in my class who works at the student rec center, and she mentioned that they were looking to hire freshmen and sophomores who'd be able to work for a couple years, instead of having to hire and train new people each semester. Perfect for her! It's on campus (she has no car) and it's easy (all they have to do is like swipe people's ID when they enter the rec)...what more could you ask for?? 

Told her about the job opening, even told her that she could apply online! Spoke to her a few weeks later and guess what? She'd never even pursued it. 

Then you sit and tell people I'M not helping you? B*tch please. SMH. Don't even get me started on the "she won't take me and pick me up" comment. Once again, SMH...

x0x0♥

My People, My People...♥

Life has been pretty Blah for the last few days... despite the inevitable randomness that a college student & sales associate encounters lol... 

HOWEVER... my moment of amusement for the day:

I'm at work, and 3 Black girls come into the store. It's around 11 am...closer to noon maybe, so not too many people have gotten on my damn nerves come into the store thus far. Read: I'm still in a genuinely cheery mood. So these females enter, and I speak to all of them. One stares at me for a second then rolls her eyes, while the others walk around a fixture, to the opposite side of the store. Whatever. I go up to them and ask if I can help them find anything... get ignored again. *enter: wooosah...* So then all three magically find their way to our counter, behind which my manager was standing, doing some paperwork. The counter is also where we keep the stands that hold our rings. So now all three females are standing next to each other in front of the counter, and in front of the rings. Since we'd received shipment this morning, all the slots in the jewelry stand were filled. Clearly we all know what time it is... so I go over to ask the females AGAIN if I can help them, and all of a sudden two of them leave.

So now there's one thievin' ass h*e female left, still looking at the rings in the jewelry holder, and by now a FedEx delivery woman (older white lady) has entered the store, and she left her little push cart thingy in our store's doorway...she's behind the counter talking to my manager, as manager signs for something. All of a sudden, I hear the "customer" speak, and here's the conversation:

"Customer": 'What, you think somebody gon' take somethin from yo store or somethin??"

Manager: ...silence...

FedEx: *looks up*

"Customer": "Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, you watchin' yo stuff like somebody tryna take it!"

FedEx: "Yes, I'm watching my cart..."

"Customer": "Yeah I seen you watchin' my sisters when they left the store like they was gonna take your lil sh*t"

FedEx: "Well, it's kinda my job to keep up with my cart..."

"Customer": "Yeah, you betta be watchin yo stuff...{inaudible ish talking as "customer" exits the store}"

Clearly, this holiday season is off to a kick-ass start already...

PS: After "customer" leaves the store, I go over to the ring stand, just for kicks. Three of the rings are missing, out of a stand that was completely filled. Then people like this wonder why they get treated the way they do in stores. I've learned to not even let them get under my skin, because there is so much more to be irritated about than some skeezers who have to go to the mall to steal a 10-dollar rhinestone ring. 

x0x0♥

Self-Hatred...SMH.♥

So I was watching Judge Alex the other day (I think?) and there was a woman who, in my opinion, is CLEARLY Black suing a friend of hers for an unpaid loan. The purpose of the loan? Hydrogel booty injections, which I’ve mentioned in a prior post. The issue this time, however, isn’t those trifling injections, it’s the Black woman’s obvious self hatred! I embedded the videos of the episode, so you can judge for yourself, but I’ll make a long story short with these highlights:

1) She doesn’t hate Black people, she hates Black WOMEN (because we’re evil and hateful)
2) She isn’t a racist, though
3) Her last name was Williams, but she changed it to O’Nassis because Williams sounded “too Black”
4) When asked what race she identified with, she refused to say she was Black, mixed, or anything. She replied “I’m human”.

According to the comments on these YouTube vids, she’s also appeared on the Judge Mathis show before. There’s so much wrong with these women, I don’t even have time to discuss it all right now, since I’m on my way out to work. Just wanted to share…


x0x0♥

Tipsy.♥

Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just saw a promo commercial for Pretty Ricky's new album, and all I could think about was that horrible video. 
UGGHHH!!
x0x0♥

Freshmen.♥

I can't stand ign'ant ass people. 
I'm sorry, but Thursday is my long day, I'm in class from about 9 AM til 9 PM. That's a whole lot of time to see a whole lot of ish that makes me wanna smack a whole lotta crap out of a whole bunch of people.
Anyway, I'm in one of my classes, and it's a lecture hall, so I sit way in the back, where there's a seat by itself. I'm slightly antisocial when it comes to classrooms full of nasty, germy, nose-picking, ear-digging, swine flu infested people. So getting to class extra early to maintain my coveted seat is well worth it.
I digress.
So while I'm chillin' in my corner, taking notes on my beloved John Coltrane♥♥♥♥♥, some hoodrat sitting in the FIRST ROW has the rude ass audacity to answer her cell phone in the MIDDLE of my teacher's lecture! Not in a whisper, or any other slick, playing-it-off type of manner. Just answers her phone. As if this TA isn't in the middle of a sentence. What?
Where do these bitches people come from?? Who raised you?
Then, as if that wasn't ign'ant enough, she gets an attitude when the teacher calls her out!
("Umm could you not answer your phone in the middle of class?")
I think the request is rather reasonable...don't you?
I mean, I could see if the circumstances were emergency-related, but the chick hung the phone up, so obviously the phone call wasn't too important.
Ugh. I can't deal with people. I was SMH so hard. Eye rolling. All lat.
Welp, that's my rant for the day.
x0x0♥