What is It?? ♥

I was browsing another website when I saw a post about a book entitled Losing My Cool: How a Father’s Love and 15,000 Books Beat Hip-Hop Culture by Thomas Chatterton Williams. In his text, Williams looks at how Hip-Hop has basically become a pervasive detriment to our community; Hip-Hop Culture has replaced Black Culture.
I want to read this book, so when I do I’ll offer an actual opinion on it. Although the book is new to me, the argument isn’t. I’ve heard it countless times since I’ve been in college, around people who are actually willing to step back and take a look at the reality of what our “culture” has become, without being too defensive to see the real deal. That being said, I agree with some aspects of Mr. Williams’ argument. 
I don’t think Hip-Hop is to blame for what’s going on in households and street corners around the world. Period, point blank. I do, however, believe that somewhere along the line, the world’s image of a Black person became that “thugged-out”, sperm-donating, baggy-pants wearing, cornrow rockin’ jewelry-laced person that can be seen on TV at any given time in the day. This has become what people expect of us. I wrote a post back when the BET series Harlem Heights aired, and I mentioned that Black people don’t respond to shows that try to represent our race in a positive light. We’d rather see ourselves on TV acting a damn fool. I’m willing to bet that a lot of kids under 18 today have never even watched such things as The Cosby Show, A Different World, etc. It’s not fast-paced enough for many of these kids, who are being raised in the world of reality TV and 106th & Park. However, I don’t blame hip-hop.
It is my opinion, as a Black, 21 year old, hood-born-and-raised woman in America, that families are at the core of responsibility. Individuals and their choices. People have dropped the ball in generations as of late, and no one seems strong enough (or willing) to look in the mirror and acknowledge what is so apparent. Isn't acknowledging a problem the first step to fixing it? If we never take that step, what is the fate of our Black Community? Yes, there are things that have happened in this world to us as a people. But what about the things we continuously do to ourselves and to one another? What about darkskin vs. lightskin? What about “good hair” vs. “nappy hair”? What about “acting White” vs. “acting Black”? I doubt that Hip-Hop put those drugs into the hands of drug dealers and the fiends they’re accustomed to serving. Hip-Hop isn’t the culprit of a person beating his/her spouse, children, etc. I think it’s weak-minded of anyone to suggest that a genre of music has infiltrated his/her daily life to the point where it changes them for the worst. Where is our common sense???
A lot of us seem to have internalized the idea that to be Black is to be dumbed-down, inarticulate, hyper sexualized, etc…all while rocking the latest styles. It’s pretty ridiculous, right? Kids are afraid to show their intelligence because someone will accuse them of being an “Oreo” or “acting White”. So the smart kids sit in class, keeping answers to themselves, purposely inserting slang and ebonics into their everyday vernacular, just to satisfy someone else’s internalized ignorance. It hurts my soul…pushing past stereotypes is something we simply need to develop the strength to do.
I was born and raised in Cleveland, Ohio. The real Cleveland, not the surrounding areas where all the White people live/used to live before Black people moved in and “chased them away”. I live in the Cleveland where there’s literally an abandoned home next door, a crack house across the street, another couple crack houses down the street, an Arab-owned store on the corner, right next to a church, and a prostitute who’s walked our block for as long as I can remember, with her short cut blond hair and her missing front teeth. That’s where I’ve lived. I was raised, like so many others, by my mother and her mother, with my father heavily in the picture as well, just not living in the household. I grew up riding my bike around the block, buying candy from the corner store, and I grew up listening to Hip-Hop. However I am not a typical product of my environment. I don’t steal, I don’t do drugs, I don’t have any children/pregnancies/abortions, I’m a semester away from earning my first college degree, and I have every intention of earning at least one more. Every free moment I have is spent listening to music, especially Hip-Hop. So I ask you, is Hip-Hop really to blame?
To sum it all up (because I know some people love lists and bullet points and whatnot):
It is not Hip-Hop's job to:
1) Raise your children.
2) Be a role model for your children.
3) Teach your children how to excel.
4) Provide a blueprint to success.
At best, Hip-Hop is an art form, used to relay the emotions and thoughts of our people, in a way that uplifts our spirits while putting a creative spin on our reality.
At worst, Hip-Hop is just another form of cheap entertainment, a business designed to exploit our people by promising us the very thing that we've been trying to gain for decades on this continent: wealth. 
Either way, there is so much more out there for all of us. The problem is lack of encouragement and knowledge being instilled in our children, to let them know that they ARE more than the clothes they "rock" and the cell phones, iPods, and gadgets they own. The potential is limitless, but it means nothing without desire to do better...
x0x0♥

I Am...♥

Sleepy, but trying to motivate myself to clean my house up before work (I know I won't feel like it afterwards!)
Happy, because this time next week I'll be in Cedar Falls (Iowa) with my love...on cloud 9.
Anxious, because I'm ready to leave. NOW!
Determined to make today a great day. Waking up to sunshine and turning on some good music will do that to ya!
Loving my life right now, and all the people in it. And all the clutter I've eliminated from it.
Cold, because of the draft coming through the window next to my computer desk...but I like to look outside while I blog and ish. 
Excited, because I've been sans-creamy crack (relaxer) since May now, and yesterday a young man at my job complimented me on my au-natural look. My hair hadn't been "done" in about 5 days... I did a curly set on like...I don't even remember what day last week. My hair is still looking great. Speaking of that, I'm
Thankful that I can sleep, wake up, remove my satin sleep cap, and GO! No extra hair junk needed!
Sad, because my beautiful younger cousin is now one of "those girls" at school who gets picked on because she "thinks she's all that"...and has been suspended for defending herself from a jealous girl who yanked her hair because she wanted to see if it was fake. When will our young ladies stop hating one another??
x0x0♥

My People, My People...♥

Life has been pretty Blah for the last few days... despite the inevitable randomness that a college student & sales associate encounters lol... 

HOWEVER... my moment of amusement for the day:

I'm at work, and 3 Black girls come into the store. It's around 11 am...closer to noon maybe, so not too many people have gotten on my damn nerves come into the store thus far. Read: I'm still in a genuinely cheery mood. So these females enter, and I speak to all of them. One stares at me for a second then rolls her eyes, while the others walk around a fixture, to the opposite side of the store. Whatever. I go up to them and ask if I can help them find anything... get ignored again. *enter: wooosah...* So then all three magically find their way to our counter, behind which my manager was standing, doing some paperwork. The counter is also where we keep the stands that hold our rings. So now all three females are standing next to each other in front of the counter, and in front of the rings. Since we'd received shipment this morning, all the slots in the jewelry stand were filled. Clearly we all know what time it is... so I go over to ask the females AGAIN if I can help them, and all of a sudden two of them leave.

So now there's one thievin' ass h*e female left, still looking at the rings in the jewelry holder, and by now a FedEx delivery woman (older white lady) has entered the store, and she left her little push cart thingy in our store's doorway...she's behind the counter talking to my manager, as manager signs for something. All of a sudden, I hear the "customer" speak, and here's the conversation:

"Customer": 'What, you think somebody gon' take somethin from yo store or somethin??"

Manager: ...silence...

FedEx: *looks up*

"Customer": "Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, you watchin' yo stuff like somebody tryna take it!"

FedEx: "Yes, I'm watching my cart..."

"Customer": "Yeah I seen you watchin' my sisters when they left the store like they was gonna take your lil sh*t"

FedEx: "Well, it's kinda my job to keep up with my cart..."

"Customer": "Yeah, you betta be watchin yo stuff...{inaudible ish talking as "customer" exits the store}"

Clearly, this holiday season is off to a kick-ass start already...

PS: After "customer" leaves the store, I go over to the ring stand, just for kicks. Three of the rings are missing, out of a stand that was completely filled. Then people like this wonder why they get treated the way they do in stores. I've learned to not even let them get under my skin, because there is so much more to be irritated about than some skeezers who have to go to the mall to steal a 10-dollar rhinestone ring. 

x0x0♥

Freshmen.♥

I can't stand ign'ant ass people. 
I'm sorry, but Thursday is my long day, I'm in class from about 9 AM til 9 PM. That's a whole lot of time to see a whole lot of ish that makes me wanna smack a whole lotta crap out of a whole bunch of people.
Anyway, I'm in one of my classes, and it's a lecture hall, so I sit way in the back, where there's a seat by itself. I'm slightly antisocial when it comes to classrooms full of nasty, germy, nose-picking, ear-digging, swine flu infested people. So getting to class extra early to maintain my coveted seat is well worth it.
I digress.
So while I'm chillin' in my corner, taking notes on my beloved John Coltrane♥♥♥♥♥, some hoodrat sitting in the FIRST ROW has the rude ass audacity to answer her cell phone in the MIDDLE of my teacher's lecture! Not in a whisper, or any other slick, playing-it-off type of manner. Just answers her phone. As if this TA isn't in the middle of a sentence. What?
Where do these bitches people come from?? Who raised you?
Then, as if that wasn't ign'ant enough, she gets an attitude when the teacher calls her out!
("Umm could you not answer your phone in the middle of class?")
I think the request is rather reasonable...don't you?
I mean, I could see if the circumstances were emergency-related, but the chick hung the phone up, so obviously the phone call wasn't too important.
Ugh. I can't deal with people. I was SMH so hard. Eye rolling. All lat.
Welp, that's my rant for the day.
x0x0♥

Black Girls Lost...♥

"You can't find a man until you find yourself." --Common.
Why do so many females believe that their happiness begins and ends with a boy/man? Is this a gender thing? A race thing? A society thing? I can only speak on what I've seen.
When I left home and moved here to attend college, I realized a lot of things, among them:
1) Most college boys are even more disgusting than I was warned.
2) Everyone feels like they have something to prove.
3) A lot of girls are sluts.
I began to observe my surroundings more because I was away from home, in a new environment, and out on my own. Everyone seemed to be trying to live up to this persona, but really so many people were concerned with putting up fronts, and watching others’ fronts, that they aren’t even enrolled past their first semester. Girls act the way they act to get guys’ attention, and the guys act like they’re 'too cool' to impress their guy friends, even though they love the female attention…just personas and foolishness that they hopefully grow out of at some point in life. I think people believe they can get away with more on a college campus, because there are so many people (as opposed to a high school environment) that maybe they won’t have to worry about everyone knowing their business. WRONG. In college, everyone knows someone who knows someone who…you get the idea. People have big mouths. The things you see and hear about on college campuses, in dorms, nightclubs, etc. are a little shocking to sheltered kids like myself, but after the shock comes the "what the hell" factor. I was standing on campus waiting for class to start a couple weeks ago and out of nowhere, two guys nearby began talking and laughing about a train they ran on a girl in one of the dorms the night before. Didn’t censor anything…This alleged train included the two guys, another friend, and one of the guys’ brother. WHAT the HELL???
What makes these girls act the way they do? It’s not even necessarily ugly girls who act a fool when they get a little male attention. And promiscuity isn’t the main thing I’m directing this towards, it’s more of a consequence of the bigger problem: females’ need for validation. Half the things these girls wear, do, and say are CLEARLY seeking out validation from their male peers. Why? Are they searching for love and affection? Acknowledgement? Attention? Or is it simply acceptable to conduct yourself like this, just because you're "in college, and this is supposed to be the best time of your life"?
I just feel lucky to be one of the women who realizes a man’s validation does not make or break me. I love it when my boyfriend says sweet things, and compliments me on my beauty (inside and out), but I recognize that whether he voices those things or not, they still exist. I’m still beautiful inside and out, regardless of someone verbally telling me that I am. My beauty was there long before my boyfriend came along, and if ever God feels like removing him from my life, my beauty will still be here. I wish all women could feel this way, because I also know how it felt at the other end of the spectrum, not believing in your own beauty. Luckily, with God and a great family, I learned. I’m a better, confident, self-motivating and self-indulgent person today because of it. I believe that this is instrumental in my friendships, my relationship, and my general interaction with people on a regular basis. My boyfriend respects me, mentally, physically, AND emotionally. My friends (the real ones who’ve outlasted the fake ones that I’ve weeded through) respect me. My family adores me. I don’t know what people have to say about me behind my back. Nor do I care. Honestly. I just know that my attitude and my aura command nothing less than respect. No one has the power to make me feel less than spectacular. My mama taught me better than that. And I’ll teach my children the same.
x0x0♥

It's Not Funny Anymore!...♥

This is the Lindsey Lohan I've come to know and love... circa 'Mean Girls', which happens to be one of my favorite teen movies ♥ However Lindsey's life is clearly in shambles, and I just wanna know WHY are PEOPLE MAKING FUN of HER and SHAKING THEIR HEADS at the TABLOIDS instead of GETTING HER HELP!!???!!! For goodness sakes, the girl is almost as hot of a mess as Britney was, minus the gold-digging husband and adorable babies. Lindsey needs help. I know prescription drugs are no joke, but I'm not really buying the fact that pills are the only thing she's on, if you catch my drift...Where are her parents??? Smh. This joke stopped being funny a long time ago, and as a real fan (of Mean Girls, at least) I really hope Lindsey gets help before it's too late! ♥

x0x0...smh ♥

"It's 'cause We BLACK, Right?"...

I'm SO sick of people!! This is super random, considering I didn't have to work today, but I'm getting so fed-up with people trying to steal from the store I work at...Why do some people believe it's fair to try to redeem their 5-finger discount every time they come to our store??? My thoughts are always the same: If you think we're too expensive, LEAVE!!! Go to another store that offers plus-sized clothing! We're not the only one! We may be the best (lol) but there are cheaper stores... It just kills me because there are so many things I've seen and learned since I began working in retail. There are people who will blatantly steal from your store, then wear the stolen merchandise the next time they visit your store!! Like really??? As if we're not going to recognize you and follow every move you make this time around??
Then we get the girls who are, for lack of a better term, Ghetto. They enter the store as loudly as they can, attracting attention to the fact that 1) There are WAY too many of them, huddled too close together in front of a rack and 2) Nothing they're wearing gives off the appearance that they shop regularly at our store (i.e. big, boyish bomber jackets, run-over tennis shoes...baggy clothes...all things that our store doesn't even sell!) and wonder why the salespeople on the floor are eyeing them. Lol.... then when they get caught in the act it's "Why y'all gotta follow us every time we come in the store, dang! It's 'cause we Black, ain't it???"
...Clearly any person of any color is capable of stealing...but it literally burns me up inside when I hear this phrase, because the reality is that all the times I've been present during a theft incident, most of the thieves WERE in fact Black! There have been exceptions, of course, but guess what? The race card doesn't work on me lol!! So it's not as if I'm out to "target" my own! I'm simply saying, don't reinforce the fact that people target us already! Duh! Such a mess....
x0x0 ♥

Instead of Sending Flowers, Be the Roses {Kanye}♥

I wonder how often people stop to recollect on where they came from, appreciate where they are now, and think about where they're going in the future...

I feel like people are so caught up in the irrelevance of petty things, especially in our generation, that no one appreciates the things of value that will stick with us when the extra stuff fades away... Education, religion, true love, and family values are things that I've grown to appreciate since reaching college age and being out in the world on my own. These things didn't seem so major when I was in the shelter and safety of my family home...Now, I'm glad that they were always present for me, even though I took them for granted! So I guess it could be based on how one was raised, or their sense of goals and aspirations...because I look at a lot of my peers and wonder what their mothers would think of the things they say and do. I recently passed my one-year marking the anniversary of my mother's death, and I must say, her absence helped me to grow a lot as a woman, and I believe I'm a different person than I was before she was taken away from me. So as someone who doesn't have their mother physically present anymore, giving that little "push" {that we sometimes hate!}, I find myself jealous and wishing for that push again, even if it's just for a little moment... It took me losing my Mommy to realize all I had when she was here. So I just wish and hope that people around me will realize that representing those who inspire you and played a role in shaping who you are today is very important...and take notice of it, so that you can show that appreciation to those people while you still have the chance!
I understand what my mother meant when she would say "It'll all make sense when you get a little older". Things like the latest name brands, and fighting over guys/girls, and being jealous and vindictive are things that I thought people were supposed to outgrow at some point, but I'm starting to become doubtful!! Does anyone have class and home training anymore??
x0x0 ♥