Stress... ♥

Yesterday kicked off the first day of my second-to-last semester of Undergrad. I've never had so much trouble with starting school in my life.
I've been dealing with crap for the past month with these Financial Aid people, and it's getting REALLY irritating. Not to mention, stressful. See, I'm a student at this school because of my high school academics. I was able to earn a full 4-year tuition scholarship, for which I am eternally grateful... especially now. I've never had to worry about my school fees being paid...hell, the most I've ever had to fret over was when my refund from my other grants would be posted. Now? Whole 'nother story. Semester is here, in full effect, and my financial aid hasn't even been processed yet. WTF? Then I call the office, as I've been doing every single day, and everyday I get the same scripted response. Even more aggravating? I'm being told to "give it a little more time"....say what?
Dear Sir/Madam:
I understand and appreciate that you've already earned your degree, and that your kids are probably getting a mad discount on schooling if they attend this university, thereby relieving you from having a care in the world. I, however, am a lovely young Black lady from the hood...who refuses to go back there, especially without a Bachelor's in-hand. THEREFORE, it would behoove you to play with your little buttons on your little computer, and process my shit! Please and thank you!
x0x0♥

Why Are You Still Here?♥

I'm having a great week. I almost feel like something's going to go wrong soon, because things have been going so well lol. I'm currently thinking about all the things I hate about work, however. I seriously need to find the time to seek alternative employment. 
One of the managers at my store (part time) got fired last week. Is it bad that that was the best day ever, to me?? I was happy. She sucks at life, death, and everything in between. She's just whack. 
So imagine my immense pisstivity when we received a phone call from our district manager earlier this week, saying that this chick was to be 'suspended', not terminated. Ugh!! Ruined my day! Who did you have to suck off cry and whine to in order to keep this job?? She's lazy, she's obnoxious, she doesn't dress cute (I mean, we work in the fashion industry, for God's sake!), she's irresponsible (she forgot to put the deposit into the safe when she was closing one night), and on top of all this, she's actually come to work hungover before. Seriously? Overlooking the fact that you're clearly a lush, you waddle in looking like yesterday's hot mess and smelling like last nights bar? Triflin'..
x0x0♥

On the Road Again...♥

Today I went out with my best friend to set up her baby registries. She's having a little boy in March...It's still weird to me. This is the closest I've been to someone during pregnancy...I grew up in the 'hood and half the girls my age were pregnant while we were in middle school. As far as I was concerned, pregnancy was contagious and my mama wasn't raising nobody's babies! I didn't want any parts of that! So it's still kinda weird to me every time I see my bestie. I keep saying, "Oh my gosh, there's a human in there" lol.
On our way to one of the stores, we took the expressway but there must have been an accident or something up ahead because traffic was backed up. So my bestie (who was driving) decided to get off at the next exit. As we're getting off, a semi is behind us and he blows his horn at her. We're on the exit ramp, first of all, so who the F does he think he's rushing? Second of all, the traffic is literally moving between 0 and 5 mph. Again, who the F is he rushing?? So he blows again. What does my bestie do? She blows back. Over and over. And over. We got massive amounts of WTF stares. Lol. So by now we're pulling into a red light at the end of the exit ramp. Semi pulls up in the lane on our right, and clearly I flipped him off. Do you know this creep stopped his big ol' truck and hopped out (well not out, but hanging off that bar thing they hold on to to get into the truck) and points at us and yells "YOU GOT A PROBLEM????" 
....
.........
.............
My bestie and I simultaneously BUSTED out laughing at him, in his face. Loudly. Haha. You're mad, huh?
He got back in his lil' truck and rode off. All 5 feet of him. And his baggy overalls. Bwahahaha.


x0x0♥

Oh, No He Didn't!! ♥

So on Saturday nights, I go to this open mic thing called The Listening, and it's held in a lounge which is right next door to a tavern/bar/White people mecca. So as I'm leaving tonight, I walk past 3 White guys standing out front smoking, and I give a little polite smile since they were looking. All of a sudden I hear the one closest to me say, "She's a big girl"..
*Pause. Let me just state that, for the record, this statement did not piss me off. I'm a size 18, and I love me, and my man loves me, and plenty of other people (some who I don't even want to love me lol) and I'm one of those girls who honestly believes she's gorgeous, and no one can tell me anything to the contrary! Lol!*
Then another one responds, "Yeah, aren't they all?"....
Freeze. 
No, literally, I stopped in my tracks.
I turned around and, my Mama would come back to life and kill me if she knew I'd popped fly on a sidewalk full of half drunk White men on a Saturday night while walking alone but...I had to say something. I had to...
So I turn around and said, "Excuse you?" and they just looked at me with these stupid grins on their faces. So the one who called me a big girl takes a drag of nicotine and says, "Is there a problem?"... really?
So I told him, "Yeah, the problem is racist ass White people like you who need to learn how to keep your stereotypes to yourself, especially when I work in a store that sells clothes to more White women than a little bit, the majority of which are teetering on obesity while you're sitting here talking about Black women are all big!" and the guys were just looking at me all stupid. Then the guy threw his cigarette down and I just knew he was gonna try something but then he apologized. Yeah, he said "I'm sorry, ma'am, we were just f*cking around, we didn't mean anything by it"...and I was getting ready to walk away when the same racist a-hole who made the "Aren't they all?" comment decided to throw in another two cents. He asked me, "What the hell clothing store do you work in??" then he laughed. My response? "Go home and ask your fat ass mama, I'm sure she's one of our frequent shoppers."
Don't play me. I'm not the one. 
x0x0♥

My Rant of the Day...♥

I am soooooo irritated!!!
It's colder than a b*tch outside and I came to campus to the library (which is, of course, a hot mess during the last 2 weeks of the semester) to knock a couple papers out. When I'm at home, I start off good but then I end up taking a nap. Or eating...then taking a nap. Or watching Criminal Minds. Or all of the above. Basically, I end up doing everything except writing the paper. One time I went to throw something away and ended up cleaning my entire apartment...in the middle of writing a paper lol. I digress...
Anyway, I get to the library, find me a corner on the third floor, away from the skeezers who get dressed to come to the library because this is where all the Black dudes are this time of year...and away from the boys who are here looking at the skeezers... and I go on my class website...only to find that the freakin' professor hasn't even posted the instructions for the essay. UGH!!! He's such a freakin' spazz! One of the essays is due tomorrow, and the other is due next Thursday. We only have class once a week. Why is it that nothing ever gets posted when it's supposed to? I feel like a kid who's dad is always telling her he's gonna do something but then when the time comes, it's never done. SMH. Oh well... guess I'll facebook or something until I feel like getting up and going back out into the cold to get to my car. 
x0x0♥

UnGRATEful B*tches...♥

The stupidity that seeps from peoples' mouths never ceases to amaze me.

OK, so I have this cousin who attends my school. She's a sophomore, though. Young and dumb. And lazy. Spoiled. All that good stuff...

So anyway, we didn't really fall out, I kinda just cut her off a month or two ago, because she's one of those people who only calls/texts/facebooks you when they need something. I don't play that. I have no children, and it's enough work taking care of myself. Why the hell would I waste my life taking care of you too? I mean, it started off small. Asking for a ride here and there, which irritates me enough as it is. But this chick had the audacity to ask me if she could borrow one of my TVs. Seriously?? My first thought: What the hell kinda crackhead azz question is that?? People ask to borrow ink pens, or flat irons (and that's pushing it)....but a TV?? So I politely told her no. I don't have a TV you can borrow. We haven't really talked since then, which quite frankly is fine with me. 

Fast forward:

I stop to see my Daddy before I left my hometown last weekend. He tells me that over Thanksgiving dinner, he was asking how everyone was doing in school and whatnot, and he asked my cousin if she'd found a job yet. Her response was that she hadn't found a job because I wasn't helping her, and she couldn't work at the mall because if she did, I wouldn't take her and pick her up from work. 

Now...at this point, I'm laughing. And it wasn't a "Wow, that's hilarious" laugh...it was more like one of those laughs some of us get before we commence to hurting somebody's feelings, and calling them everything but a child of God. I was LiVid!

1) Why are you talking ish about me to our family, making me look like this evil ass meanie?

I know, my family knows me enough to see through her BS, but still...it's the principle.

2) You're a damn lie!

Hell, I've done everything but fill out the freakin' applications and go on interviews for your ass! WTF?? Prime example:: I was chatting with a girl in my class who works at the student rec center, and she mentioned that they were looking to hire freshmen and sophomores who'd be able to work for a couple years, instead of having to hire and train new people each semester. Perfect for her! It's on campus (she has no car) and it's easy (all they have to do is like swipe people's ID when they enter the rec)...what more could you ask for?? 

Told her about the job opening, even told her that she could apply online! Spoke to her a few weeks later and guess what? She'd never even pursued it. 

Then you sit and tell people I'M not helping you? B*tch please. SMH. Don't even get me started on the "she won't take me and pick me up" comment. Once again, SMH...

x0x0♥

Backhanded Compliments♥

Today, I was approached by a man who, after asking my name, attempting to obtain my phone number, and dismissing my revelation that I'm in a relationship, proceeded to tell me that I looked like a "Big ass Barbie"....
{insert b*tch slap}
No, but really...what? First of all, I don't do that whole backhanded compliment thing. Either you think I'm a fat ass (insult) or you think I'm gorgeous (compliment) or that I was dressed cute (again, compliment)... Either way, he looked like a broke ass wannabe Ken. So....that's what I addressed him as. Since I'm Big-ass Barbie, he was Broke-ass Ken... needless to say, the conversation pretty much faded from there. Lol.
I can't stand someone who either doesn't know or doesn't care enough to think about their words before opening the bottom hole in their face and letting BS flow out of it. Other statements that piss me off:
"Damn, you're fine as hell for a big girl!"
"Oooh, she's cute for a dark-skinned girl."
My personal favorite: When a guy approaches you and says all the nice things in the world...until you reject his advances. Then you're all types of fat, ugly, stuck-up b*tches and h*es! How fat, ugly, and stuck-up was I when you were asking for my digits? Creep.
Why can't someone just be attractive? Obviously if a female is aesthetically pleasing enough for you to approach her, then the insults are unnecessary! Not to mention tacky and ignorant! 
x0x0♥

My People, My People...♥

Life has been pretty Blah for the last few days... despite the inevitable randomness that a college student & sales associate encounters lol... 

HOWEVER... my moment of amusement for the day:

I'm at work, and 3 Black girls come into the store. It's around 11 am...closer to noon maybe, so not too many people have gotten on my damn nerves come into the store thus far. Read: I'm still in a genuinely cheery mood. So these females enter, and I speak to all of them. One stares at me for a second then rolls her eyes, while the others walk around a fixture, to the opposite side of the store. Whatever. I go up to them and ask if I can help them find anything... get ignored again. *enter: wooosah...* So then all three magically find their way to our counter, behind which my manager was standing, doing some paperwork. The counter is also where we keep the stands that hold our rings. So now all three females are standing next to each other in front of the counter, and in front of the rings. Since we'd received shipment this morning, all the slots in the jewelry stand were filled. Clearly we all know what time it is... so I go over to ask the females AGAIN if I can help them, and all of a sudden two of them leave.

So now there's one thievin' ass h*e female left, still looking at the rings in the jewelry holder, and by now a FedEx delivery woman (older white lady) has entered the store, and she left her little push cart thingy in our store's doorway...she's behind the counter talking to my manager, as manager signs for something. All of a sudden, I hear the "customer" speak, and here's the conversation:

"Customer": 'What, you think somebody gon' take somethin from yo store or somethin??"

Manager: ...silence...

FedEx: *looks up*

"Customer": "Yeah, I'm talkin' to you, you watchin' yo stuff like somebody tryna take it!"

FedEx: "Yes, I'm watching my cart..."

"Customer": "Yeah I seen you watchin' my sisters when they left the store like they was gonna take your lil sh*t"

FedEx: "Well, it's kinda my job to keep up with my cart..."

"Customer": "Yeah, you betta be watchin yo stuff...{inaudible ish talking as "customer" exits the store}"

Clearly, this holiday season is off to a kick-ass start already...

PS: After "customer" leaves the store, I go over to the ring stand, just for kicks. Three of the rings are missing, out of a stand that was completely filled. Then people like this wonder why they get treated the way they do in stores. I've learned to not even let them get under my skin, because there is so much more to be irritated about than some skeezers who have to go to the mall to steal a 10-dollar rhinestone ring. 

x0x0♥

Foundation.♥

“It’s gon’ always be haters, that’s the way it is; Hater ninjas marry hater b*tches and have hater kids…”
Kanye said it best.
I was in class the other night, conversing with two female classmates about relationships, men, etc. (I don’t even remember how we got on the subject). So anyway, after a comment was made about the birth control shot, I replied that I don’t get laid enough to go through my extreme fear of needles the trouble of getting on “the shot” lol. I mean, honestly! So the girl who initially brought up the comment was like “What you mean you don’t get laid enough?” and my response (which has become like an automated response whenever relationships are being discussed) was that my boyfriend goes to school in Iowa, so we don’t see each other too often for the time being.
This is where the animosity began to brew: her response was, “Oh, psshhhh, girl please. You might not be getting any, but he’s getting some from somewhere. Iowa?? Yeah, girl, he’s getting some.”
Now first of all, I’ve heard similar responses many times before. From family. From my friends. From my boyfriend’s friends….we’ve been hearing it ever since we were crazy enough to embark on this long-distance journey, so this classmate’s response was nothing new to my ears. However, then said classmate begins to probe and nitpick the BS reasons she KNOWS my boyfriend is getting some. (Without even knowing anything about him, by the way. All I’ve said at this point is that he attends school in Iowa.) I don’t need to detail her bullet points, because of course she gave the typical response of a person who 1) doesn’t trust men since she ain’t got one and can’t keep one has been scorned, and 2) thinks that anyone who does trust men is pretty much stupid and naïve.
As I said, I’ve dealt with this situation enough to learn that arguing with people like this won’t help matters, and neither will trying to justify my relationship. So I didn’t. I just brushed her comments off and went along with the rest of the conversation.
My only consolation is that many of the people who have said things like this to my boyfriend and I are the same people who have been in and out of numerous unsuccessful, unhealthy relationships (complete with babies, abortions, STDs, babymamadrama, cheating, theft, Jazmine Sullivan-isms, etc) while my man and I have stayed healthy, communicative, faithful, and strong. For the last three years. Straight. No breaks in between. No "we need some time apart to find ourselves" moments. None of that. We aren't perfect, and it gets hard, but we're not candidates for the Maury or Jerry Springer shows, either. Thank God.
Basically, I’ve adapted an “I can show you better than I can tell you” attitude. People are always going to try to generalize and analyze what others are doing. A person who was not completely trustful of her significant other or secure in their relationship would let these things get to them. So today, I am thankful for foundation. The kind that is built before any inklings of romance become apparent. The kind that develops a trust that lasts hundreds of miles apart, when some couples can't trust one another from 2 feet away. Without foundation, I’d be letting the cycle continue. I’d be one of those girls who lets other peoples’ input in her relationship dictate thoughts and suspicions towards her significant other, which would more than likely cause me to treat my SO like he’s done something even when there’s no proof of anything, just the judgment and analysis of other people who, quite frankly, don’t know what the f*ck they’re talking about since they are incompetent at handling a relationship of their own, much less that of someone else.
x0x0♥

Tipsy.♥

Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just saw a promo commercial for Pretty Ricky's new album, and all I could think about was that horrible video. 
UGGHHH!!
x0x0♥

Things that Make Me Itch♥

1. Plies
This includes his physical appearance, his voice, and his catch phrases (i.e., "it's Pliiiiiiiiiiies Baaaaaaaaaaaby")
2. Nicki Minaj's voice
3. The old pedophile from Family Guy
4. Things with more than four legs
5. Lil' Wayne's face
6. Dancing Midgets (or Little People, if you're into all that PC stuff)
7. Shaq's lazy eye
8. Orange hair
9. Dirty sneakers
10. Jeans that are ratty and stringy at the bottom, and drag on the floor
11. Dreds on white people...I'm sorry. I just can't...
12. Velour jogging suits (not wearing them, looking at other people wearing them)
13. Old people with hair growing out of their ears
14. Feet (I don't care how smooth, pretty, or attractive you THINK they are. They're still feet. Ugh)
15. People with loose dentures
16. People with ill-fitting dentures
17. Coogi
18. Liquid leggings
19. Olives
20. Girls who wear K-swiss to the club (yes, they do that. Here. )
21. Gucci Mane and anything remotely associated with him
22. Lips that are 7 shades darker than the face they inhabit
23. White eyeliner
24. Khia. No explanation needed.
25. Pants or shorts with writing across the butt
26. People who take pics and post them on the web with their background looking a mess (i.e., no sheets on the mattress, unflushed toilet, overflowing trash bins, etc. Nasty.)
TBC....
x0x0♥

Pissed.♥

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's being disrespected.
It's even worse when the person disrespecting you minimizes the situation and tries to make you feel like you're overreacting. This is honestly enough to piss me off more than whatever I was pissed off at in the first place!! My day started of amazingly, and in one call it was completely ruined because I'm a Leo, I'm stubborn, and I don't let things go easily. I don't care how small, how petty, how minute it may seem to you. If I'm upset, I'm staying upset until I'm good -n- ready to let it go. If you're ill-prepared to face this wrath, you BEST check yourself and think about your actions before you make them again. Hhmph.
x0x0♥

RaNT!!!!♥

I am beYOND irritated right now!!
I'm the first to admit that I suffer from road rage. It's pretty bad. I'll follow you to your destination just so I can cuss you out. I'll stop and put my car in park if you're riding my a**. I know it's petty, I know many-a-driver have called me all types of b*tches and a*sholes, and I know I should stop since there are crazy people out there who will bust a cap in that ass if I jump stupid have worse road rage than me...
So, that being said...one time for the old a*s BAT that wants to do 25 down a 40mph street, put on her blinker a foot away from the corner she's about to turn, then take 15 minutes just to turn, causing me and everyone behind her to pretty much have to come to a complete hault. Old bitty.
But I digress...
x0x0♥

Feed Your D*mn Dog!!♥

So I’m talking to a co-worker of mine, and we got on the subject of hot-mess occurrences that have taken place at our workplace. Working retail, I’ve seen some crazy things but when did it become acceptable to go to the mall and buy shoes, while your dog is at home with no food??? I’d insert ‘lmao’ here, but I’m over the initial comedy of it all. Where are your priorities?? You come into a store to return a pair of ugly ass purple suede pumps that you‘d just bought the week before, because your DOG has no FOOD??? I don’t understand. You knew those Kibbles ’n’ Bits were running low when you rolled up to the mall and bought those 40-dollar shoes! Smh…
x0x0♥

Cha Ching, Mommy! ♥

What is going on with these spoiled ass kids today??? When did toddlers become high maintenance??? Lol!
I’m watching Divorce Court yesterday, and the couple consisted of a woman who CLEARLY had gold-digger tendencies, and a guy who apparently bought her love in the first place. The guy, nevertheless, seemed to be a good man and a great father to their 4-year old daughter and even younger son.
The wife was just a hot-ass mess altogether, and just when I thought I was too done with her, she opened her mouth and revealed that 1) her 4-year old daughter had a cell phone {insert side eye} and 2) aforementioned daughter wanted a credit card. Something is really wrong when your child even knows what a credit card is before they’ve even hit kindergarten. I’m still afraid of credit cards and I’m a senior in college! Oh, but don’t worry… Mommy promised toddler that she couldn’t have the credit card until she turned FIVE! Smh…
What are people teaching their daughters these days? I won’t even get on the sons, that’s a whole ’nother blog. But as women, why don’t people realize that everything you do, your daughters will absorb and store in their memories. Whether they want to or not. All the things you think kids don’t pay attention to, or won’t remember…think about the things you remember from your own childhood. You were pretty young, weren’t you? So why is it hard to believe that you’re presenting your daughters with the first script they’ll ever read as to how to conduct themselves as ladies? We have got to do better…
I have a cousin who is 5 years younger than me, and was the sweetest thing you could have ever met. Until her father re-entered the picture and began to spoil her rotten. She’s still got a hint of the sweetness, but now she’s 16, has had her own car for over a year (minus the license), will not wear anything that isn’t designer, and is currently driving her father’s Range Rover. In the last couple years, she’s become one of “those” girls. You went to high school…you know what I mean. What’s wrong with this pic?
What values are your daughters learning when credit cards and shopping sprees replace quality time and family activities? My only hope for my cousin is that she doesn’t grow up as the type of woman who believes she’s not supposed to work for anything, and who will only be with a man for the material things he can provide, forgetting about the love and affection that should come with any relationship.
x0x0♥

The Bitch Switch...

Have you ever let someone get you SOOOOO out of your 'element' that it upset you even more than the thing the did to get you out of your element in the first place??? Lmao...it's so crazy, because personally I strive to be this put-together, "can't tell me nothin'", taking-care-of-business, WOMAN...but there's people out there who can't deal with that! In these 21 years of mine, I've discovered that when it comes to people, what you see is NOTHING like what you get...and that can be a fabulous thing or a dreadful thing, depending on the circumstances, the person, the damn weather... hell. Anything lol. All I know is, real isn't always real. Truth is hardly EVER truth, and most friendships fade to black. Maybe, though, that's not such a bad thing. Some people just aren't necessary to your life! Really! I heard this saying, that some people are only meant to be in your life for a season....or something like that. Lol. It's true shit, though, because although that person may have been fitting for that particular season, the next season they may be completely out of style! So just like we clean our closets out to shop for the new season, maybe friendships need to be cleaned out and swept away also. Personally, I hate clutter. I'm nobody's neat freak, but everything has a place in my palace, and I try to keep everything in it's place. Now, this may not be so apparent if one were to glance at my palace after I've spent two hours deciding what to wear for the day, but that's a whole 'nother blog!

The point is, as angry as this person (and past people) have made me, after it's all said and done, I get this really mellow feeling inside, because I know that this person was not meant to be in my presence permanently. She's one of those friends who the whole group kinda meets, and wonders about, but ultimately gives her a pass to join the clique, because hey, she seems like she might be kinda cool lol... but then the Bitch Switch gets flipped. Lol. And don't act like you don't know, because we've all experienced the Bitch Switch! One minute, shit is sweet, then the next you're getting mental flashes of the person on the ground with your fist introducing itself to her face, all because she said/did some off the wall ish.... Crazy, right? But, I digress.

Bottom Line: Be thankful for the cleaning out of your friendship closet. It's always in order, and it's a hassle, but in the end you'll feel s00000 much better, and accomplished, while that pile of junk is sitting somewhere looking stupid!

x0x0♥

"It's 'cause We BLACK, Right?"...

I'm SO sick of people!! This is super random, considering I didn't have to work today, but I'm getting so fed-up with people trying to steal from the store I work at...Why do some people believe it's fair to try to redeem their 5-finger discount every time they come to our store??? My thoughts are always the same: If you think we're too expensive, LEAVE!!! Go to another store that offers plus-sized clothing! We're not the only one! We may be the best (lol) but there are cheaper stores... It just kills me because there are so many things I've seen and learned since I began working in retail. There are people who will blatantly steal from your store, then wear the stolen merchandise the next time they visit your store!! Like really??? As if we're not going to recognize you and follow every move you make this time around??
Then we get the girls who are, for lack of a better term, Ghetto. They enter the store as loudly as they can, attracting attention to the fact that 1) There are WAY too many of them, huddled too close together in front of a rack and 2) Nothing they're wearing gives off the appearance that they shop regularly at our store (i.e. big, boyish bomber jackets, run-over tennis shoes...baggy clothes...all things that our store doesn't even sell!) and wonder why the salespeople on the floor are eyeing them. Lol.... then when they get caught in the act it's "Why y'all gotta follow us every time we come in the store, dang! It's 'cause we Black, ain't it???"
...Clearly any person of any color is capable of stealing...but it literally burns me up inside when I hear this phrase, because the reality is that all the times I've been present during a theft incident, most of the thieves WERE in fact Black! There have been exceptions, of course, but guess what? The race card doesn't work on me lol!! So it's not as if I'm out to "target" my own! I'm simply saying, don't reinforce the fact that people target us already! Duh! Such a mess....
x0x0 ♥