Natural Hair isn't for Everyone. ♥

So this morning, as soon as I wake UP, I'm seeing foolishness....
I check my Twitter (you know, just like all the other twitter junkies do upon opening their eyes in the morning) and I see retweets from a woman (WITH natural hair) that originated from some guy. The tweets said something to the effect of "#NaturalHair ain't for everybody...some people don't need to try it".....*blank stare*
Now, my first reaction was WTF...so I went back and read the tweets again. Now, I'm irritated. This isn't the first time I've seen this on Twitter, or heard people say it, or whatever...but for whatever reason, it grinded my gears today.
Who the fuck are you to say that natural hair isn't ok? I mean, it's natural. It's what we're born with. It was fully intended to grow out of our scalps. Before all the chemicals and BS that people decided to put in their hair in a half-assed attempt to attain some warped sense of perfection...we were all natural. You were natural. Your mama was natural. Her mama was, too! So why is it that when we see a woman with natural hair, people feel the need to criticize? 
Now, I know someone will say this...so I'll let you know that I've already considered the following things:
1) Everyone doesn't picture the same thing when "Natural" hair is mentioned. 
There are many things that might come to mind...some naturals sport a fade, or rock a TWA (teeny-weeny afro). Some wear twists, dreads, or braids. Some wear their hair loose and curly. Then there are those with the dope ass, huge ass, obnoxious ass 'fro. Lol I'm a tad bit biased. But anyway, you catch my drift. I understand that there are people who have preferences, and that these styles may not be included in those preferences.
2) Some naturals are kinda sensitive. 
I'll admit, these comments touched a nerve, but not only because I'm a natural. It's because I'm a woman...who, over the last 22 years, has spent countless hours in front of a mirror trying to make everything as aesthetically pleasing as possible, only to go outside and still feel like I'm being judged and criticized (I mean, I could usually care less about the shit, but you still feel it happening). It's because I'm a Black woman...who's gone through more than half her life getting creamy white shit slapped on her scalp and roots, just to "tame" hair that just wants to run free. If I made a pile of all the hair I've swept/vacuumed up from the floor in my lifetime, due to breakage and whatnot, Do you know how freakishly huge that shit would be??? Let's not even talk about it...and all to achieve straightness. 
My opinion is this: 
This society has conditioned us to feel self-conscious and apprehensive about our natural appearances. We all see varying things when we look at one another. When I see a female walking around with fake hair, fake skin (aka cake-faced makeup), fake eyes, fake lips, fake boobs, fake nails, booty pops, and all this other foolish ass stuff that's made to "enhance one's appearance", I think it's sad. I feel bad for her...and I wonder 1) what she looks like at night when/if she goes home and takes all that shit off, and 2) what has happened to her to make all these enhancements seem necessary in the first place? What side comments has she heard about her nappy hair, or her not-so-perfect skin, or her flat ass, that drove her to feel the need for these things? But when another person sees this same thing, they may very well be thinking "Damn, I'm gonna marry this chick"...so hey. To each his own.
I just think we're so used to seeing fake shit, that reality scares us. And that's a sad phenomenon. As far as hair goes, "going natural" is the exception to the norm! To some people, it makes you "outside the box". Different. Refreshing, to some. Crazy to others. When did this happen?? We see a woman with a long, gorgeous head of hair, and we think (or some ign'ant ones will actually ASK) what she's mixed with, or where she bought her hair.... We don't realize that the so-called perfection we're trying to achieve is just conformity. Pure conformity. "Natural hair wouldn't look good on me".... How do you know? You haven't seen it since you were 5! "Natural hair is too hard to manage".....I wash and style my hair twice a week, if that. I get up, rub some moisturizer and oil on this baby, pick it out, stick a flower or headband on it, and roll out. There's no hours of flat-ironing, no $90 trips to the shop every two weeks. No ducking and dodging raindrops. 
I'm also not one of those annoying hair advocates who tries to force everyone one I see to join me on this going natural journey...I don't think people with relaxers are stupid (unless its one of those people who constantly complain about damaged hair, yet still are up in the Walgreens line buying that lil box every 6-8 weeks)... I don't believe in good hair vs. bad hair... I believe that regardless of what you have growing out of/glued into/sewn into your hair, you owe it to yourself and your hair to keep it healthy and well-managed. Being natural takes patience, effort, and TLC...so ol' boy was right. Maybe #NaturalHair isn't for everyone. 
x0x0
LovePeaceCurls♥

#BigHairDontCare ♥

Because it's mine. And it's Fabulous. And I Love it. x0x0 ♥

Kids...Stay in School. PLEASE! ♥

Sooo I'm on a random grocery store run for some cookies (mother nature likes to give me chocolate cravings along with my monthly gift....that b*tch...) and as I'm on my way to the self checkout, some hoodrat skeez random chick approaches me. The following conversation took place:


Chick: Oooooh, is that yo real hair?
Me: Yes lol...
Chick: OMG how you get it to be curly like dat?? I bet when you get a perm it's gone be lonnnngggg!
Me: I don't use relaxers (White people use perms. Educate yourself) 
Chick: I'm sayin' tho', when you finally get one it's gone be sooo long!
Me: I have natural hair. I don't use relaxers. I'll never get one...
Chick: Oh.. (confused face) but why?
Me: It's just not my 'thing' lol... *attempting to walk away*
Chick: So you just gone walk around with it nappy? That's stupid. LOL
Me: *Turns around* First of all (that's how u know I'm annoyed) all I do is wash, condition, and roll my hair. Every time you get a "perm", you're slapping all types of sodium hydroxide and other ish people use to clean drains and whatnot. I think that would make you the stupid one. Second, obviously my "nappy" hair can hold her own, it got your attention...Now, was there anything else you wanted to talk about? *with my Wish-a-bitch-would Face*


This is not the first conversation I've had like this, but all I'm gonna say is: If your grown ass doesn't have the sense God gave a goose, please don't approach me with this BS. My tolerance is maddd low. Thanks.
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I Know, I Know...♥

I've been neglecting my blog...and for that, I am sorry! I have good reason, though...lol.
Promotion at work... This manager thing is pretty okay so far. Turnover for managers in my store is crazy, though...quitters. I'm nobody's quitter, though, so I think I'll be fine...the extra hours will motivate me. Lol.
Also, I've been borderline obsessed with my hair lately, and I've been spending my cyber life on curlynikki.com... I've been sans-relaxer for a year and a month now, and you'd think I'd be hip to all these natural hair blogs and websites already but...nope! So it's kind of like delayed infatuation... I'm just loving my hair. I mean, I always love it...but now I'm seeing what it's potential is gonna be, and all that corny stuff. It's fun.
I'm apartment hunting... this was okay for my first place, but it was a very last minute decision {read: I came up in July that year, to find an apt I needed to move into in August} so now I'm more clear about what I want and don't want in an apartment... I mean, if they're gonna take all my lil' funds, I need to be getting my money's worth. Right now, I'm not!
It's three weeks into the semester and I STILL don't have any financial aid. Life was much easier when I had my full scholarship...however, it was only good for 4 consecutive years, meaning it ended last semester...and now I see why everyone else complains so much about the office...I'm not used to having to worry about this mess.
Hmm...I think that's all for now. I need to clean, it's been a busy week but I hate my apt looking a mess. Even though no one's here but me and my cat...
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Choices... ♥

So I was discussing 'Good' and 'Bad' hair and all that jazz with a friend of mine, and I ended up taking a look back at an old post of mine...and I realized that, with all the things we can do to our hair, I believe our most prized possession is...choice. It's something that so many Black women don't realize they have...A lot of us are stripped of that choice when we're young, as I was. I honestly can't even remember how old I was when I began getting relaxers in my hair, but I've had them as long as I can remember. My hair has always been so thick and, as some would call it, unmanageable. So my mother, being a single working mom of two, did the easiest thing she knew how: she began to relax my hair. I wasn't old enough to realize the effect, besides my hair being straight and not having to cringe when someone pulled a comb through it (I was, and still am, what we call "tender-headed") lol...and I don't fault my mother. She took care of my hair as best as she could. The fact is, so many Black women don't dedicate the time necessary to nurturing what's naturally ours. We'd rather let chemicals become a quick fix, and before we know it, our hair doesn't know how to function without it. Our manes start craving that creamy crack every few weeks. 
I just wish parents would give their kids the choice. Why disrupt a natural process of growth to save yourself a couple minutes of work? I posted a pic of myself at age 5...that's what my hair looked like before I began getting relaxers. Disregard my eyebrows...please! That's a whole 'nother story! LoL...but my point is, I look back at this pic and I don't see "good" or "bad" hair. I see me! And caterpillar-brows and all, I adore this picture. I've wondered for years now what my hair would look and feel like today, had the creamy crack epidemic never hit it. Today, I've learned how to love my hair, no matter how many combs I've ruined or how long it takes to wash, dry, and style my curly madness. It's mine, and I love it...so I'm willing to put as much time as it takes into maintaining it! 
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Nappy & Happy! ♥

Sooo I'm HIGHLY anticipating Chris Rock's upcoming documentary Good Hair. Are you??? As a Black woman, I'm so intrigued to see the movie, and it's been long overdue, since hair is such a taboo in our culture. The beauty of Black hair is that so many things can be done with it, and I'd love to see the variation of styles and standpoints this documentary has to offer! It's crazy because so many of us hear debates about whether to be 'Natural' or 'Everything Else', but really healthy hair is the main concern. Or at least, it should be. There are so many things that we can do to our hair, but how many of them are harming our African roots (pun intended)?

 I'm all for style and options and variation, but there is a line that some people should draw for themselves, because going bald (not by choice, but by breakage) all because you wanted to experiment with a hairstyle for a week is NOT a good look... Many people think that the term "Good Hair" only applies to Black people who are mixed with a lil' something (ie.." oh yeah girl, she got a lil' Indian in her family"), or people of entirely other races. Crazy, right? Tell me you've never seen a Black person with nice, healthy looking hair and wondered whether they were completely Black, or whether they were wearing a weave...Lol. Exactly. It's possible for Black people to have healthy hair, whether they sport that hair in braids, dreds, an afro, curls, or straightened. Or even if they're hiding it under a weave! It's all about how you take care of your hair. I was watching the Tyra show when Chris Rock and Nia Long were her guests, and they were there speaking about the Good Hair documentary. Tyra made a good point when she said that many stars and celebrities always wear a weave. So much so that you may not see their natural hair for years. If ever! (Then again, these tabloids can catch you anywhere if you're slippin!) But some people talk about how certain celebrities are probably bald-headed underneath their weaves, but in reality they may have healthier hair than all of us lol! Think about it, they have stylists who know what they're doing, and are trained to keep their natural hair healthy ALL while keeping up with the latest trends in hairstyles so that the celebrity is ready when the cameras start flashing. Their solution? WeAvE! It's the perfect way to be experimental with cuts, colors, and styles, and maintain your own hair at the same time. I think it's brilliant!

Beauty comes in so many shades, shapes, colors, and forms that it's ridiculous to think only certain things define beauty. It's becoming a cliche, but a good one...but True Beauty Comes From Within. Make that your mantra. If you need to, go listen to India.Arie's "I Am Not My Hair". It was part of the inspiration for this blog post, and she's one of those artists whose songs make you delve into that inner beauty that society and media don't always promote. So whether you fry it, dye it, blow dry it, wash and go, press and curl, braid it up, gel it up, weave it up....whatever...just make sure that your choices are healthy for your hair in the long run, and if you don't know what you're doing, save up that extra pocket change to visit the stylist every once in awhile! It's more than likely going to be worth it, and many are nice enough to give you tips on how to maintain your hair's health on your own. They know it's a recession and everyone can't come in to get their hurr did every week! LoL!

x0x0♥