Kids...Stay in School. PLEASE! ♥

Sooo I'm on a random grocery store run for some cookies (mother nature likes to give me chocolate cravings along with my monthly gift....that b*tch...) and as I'm on my way to the self checkout, some hoodrat skeez random chick approaches me. The following conversation took place:


Chick: Oooooh, is that yo real hair?
Me: Yes lol...
Chick: OMG how you get it to be curly like dat?? I bet when you get a perm it's gone be lonnnngggg!
Me: I don't use relaxers (White people use perms. Educate yourself) 
Chick: I'm sayin' tho', when you finally get one it's gone be sooo long!
Me: I have natural hair. I don't use relaxers. I'll never get one...
Chick: Oh.. (confused face) but why?
Me: It's just not my 'thing' lol... *attempting to walk away*
Chick: So you just gone walk around with it nappy? That's stupid. LOL
Me: *Turns around* First of all (that's how u know I'm annoyed) all I do is wash, condition, and roll my hair. Every time you get a "perm", you're slapping all types of sodium hydroxide and other ish people use to clean drains and whatnot. I think that would make you the stupid one. Second, obviously my "nappy" hair can hold her own, it got your attention...Now, was there anything else you wanted to talk about? *with my Wish-a-bitch-would Face*


This is not the first conversation I've had like this, but all I'm gonna say is: If your grown ass doesn't have the sense God gave a goose, please don't approach me with this BS. My tolerance is maddd low. Thanks.
x0x0♥

The Infamous "N-word" ♥

OK so this is an exchange I had about a week or so ago, with a person I don’t know on FB. A friend of mine posted this status {Note: Everything is going to be word-for-word}: 
“If a black person who hangs with white people...gives one of their white friends the "permission" to say NIGGA...And then the white friend says it...feeling its ok..cuz they have permission...and THEN SAY IT TO YOU..and say "well..so and so gave me permission"...WHAT WILL BE UR RESPONSE..and what do u think of all dat?”
The subsequent comments started with about 5+ people…but ended up becoming a two-way between me and some {insert nicer word for ass wipe}. So I’ll just give you the exchange between the two of us. I‘ll refer to him as AW {my shorthand for ass wipe}. Feel free to comment on my opinion, his opinion, the exchange itself, insert your opinion, etc:


Me: I don't really care who says it, seeing as how the vast majority of us use it on the regular. its a word...just like any other. And as with other words, my position is this: if I don't say it to you, don't say it to me.


AW: @sonji that was a passive way to look at this word. We say it to one another cuz the world branded it to our being! We twisted it and made it ours! Not saying that is right to use it, but never invite the faces who gave us that to use it when talking to us! Ever! So it is not just a word! That word is our existence here!


AW: Understand fully you speak is all I am saying. When you have to get permission then you should not do it.


Me: If you choose to minimize your existence to a word, that's your choice. I choose not to. I don't feel I'm being passive, but I will admit to being desensitized to the word. Should I live my life being bothered about who's saying a word, and when they're saying it? I've been around enough white people as well as people of other races to know that most of them say it within their own circles, regardless of permission. I don't need to be patronized by being asked for permission. As I stated before, if I'm not saying the word to others, which I very rarely do, then I expect it not to be said to me. And if/when a person of another race decides to say it to me, I'll let them know the same thing.


AW: sonji that is why people of other races feel like they can say it ...cuz people like you choose to hide from shit until it come to you directly...if martin, malcolm, and others thought like that then we would be called worst by them..wake up and stop the passive shit!..you seem real smart!


Me: Right, because referring to everyone around us as nigga this, nigga that doesn't play a role in them saying it.?! When you hear one another saying the word, its all cool but someone else says it and you're ready to go off. If the word is so disrespectful, you should be going off whenEVER you hear it, even if its from your fellow "niggas". Do you? Call me passive all you want, but if you ask me, that bullshit "we took it and made it ours so we can say it til the cows come home" is a cop out anyway.


AW: sonji you are missing the point.....you are so missing the point..you need a class on the matter.....you have things twisted..you may even think because we have a black president that rasicm is over?...lol WRONG!..SPIKE LEE SAID IT BEST WAKE UP!!!!!


Me: Honey I'm not missing anything. I've heard your "point" a million times before, and I've spoken my opinion on the matter a million times before. I've heard this "point" from others who'd fight and argue to the last breath about the word, then catch their breath, walk off, and use the word as if their vocabularies don't know alternatives. I don't pity the hypocrite who does this, and is foolish enough to not expect the same behavior from others. That's my stance, and I respectfully decline replacing it with yours.


AW: @SONJI you are just passive..it is just a point that you need to take a stand on the matter...i do not walk around mad and argue but i know where i stand period they do not even talk like that around me as to where they will say it around your passive self..


Me: Its never been said to "my passive self", and I attribute that to the fact that I'm not the ignorant one going around saying it myself. I respect myself enough not to say the word, and so far its worked out for me. If taking your so called stand works for you, I'm not knocking it. I'm simply stating my experience, my opinion, and that doesn't make me any less "Black" or any less educated.


AW: nah you just passive and maybe hang out with white people..lol..go ahead...do you....do you.....


Me: I always do me. I'll def continue to do so. Have a good night.


AW: i believe you passive woman good night..


just thought I'd share...for entertainment purposes. SMH. 
x0x0♥

Hey You Out There!! ♥

Yes, YOU. 
Seriously...this is getting REALLY old. 
First of all, this is my blog. My journal. My work. My thoughts. My opinions. 
Which I, like everyone else on this planet, am entitled to.
That being said, for the people {PPL, as in PLURAL, for those who think everything is specifically about them} who come to this page, and read things that they ASSUME are about them... perhaps you should just ASK. For the sake of clarification. Trust me, my answers just may surprise you. Don't bother assuming, because obviously that gets you nowhere since...well...your assumptions are already wrong!
I don't need to lie, pump-up, fabricate, etc anything I write on here; everything is pretty much real-life matters that affect more than just YOU. Therefore, if you see similarities between my posts and your life, that's either great for you, or it sucks for you, depending on your interpretation. That's your problem to deal with. I'm a blogger. I observe, I listen, and I write. That's my prerogative. The subject matter that my posts (if personal) pertain to is stuff that I've discussed with the person it pertains to, unless I directly state otherwise. For example, I haven't discussed THIS post with each person it pertains to, since I know all 4 of you will be reading it. Therefore, I decided upon a universal post that will address you all! If you're still unclear, feel free to call, text, comment, or whatever floats your boat. 
The concept is really quite simple. If I've talked about it with you, the post is probably about you. If I haven't, it's probably not. 
Thanks for reading! Which I'm absolutely sure you are, because...well, humans are just predictable like that. This isn't meant to portray an argumentative tone, or to be mean...I just want you to step back and realize that the world does NOT revolve around you...at least mine doesn't. ♥
x0x0 bitches! 

To Whom it May Concern:

Don't be mad at me because your life is being wasted on raggedy chix, funky clubs, and tacky lookin' urban clothing. Grow up, act your age, be a man, get some business, and take care of that sh!t. 
x0x0

Toot, Toot Snitches...♥

So the other day, I was told that I have "narcissistic tendencies"...to that person, I replied, "So? I don't care!" lol.
A person with narcissistic personality disorder:

• Reacts to criticism with rage, shame, or humiliation
• Takes advantage of other people to achieve his or her own goals
• Has feelings of self-importance
• Exaggerates achievements and talents
• Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, beauty, intelligence, or ideal love
• Has unreasonable expectations of favorable treatment
• Requires constant attention and admiration
• Disregards the feelings of others, lacks empathy
• Has obsessive self-interest
• Pursues mainly selfish goals

Obviously, looking at these points...hell yeah, I have narcissistic "tendencies". I fall in love with me every time I look in the mirror! What's your point? The thing that bugged me is that I was given this half-cocked opinion by a skeezer who loves to be the weepy-whiner of the bunch. "OMG, my hair is sooo ugly today !" (bitch, why'd you leave the house lookin like that, then??). "OMG, my thighs move when I run. I'm thinking about getting liposuction" {bitch, so what! Your whole leg moves when you run, you wanna get that nip-tucked off, too?!)...I could go on and on. The thing is, the girl doesn't even look bad. Dare I say, she's pretty. Anyone who knows me can tell you that when it comes to people, I can't STAND hearing someone fish for compliments and validation all day. Ugh! It's so annoying! Low self-esteem rears it's ugly head all too often. It's like, we see you! OK! So you can stop calling attention to yourself, and stop trying to act like you hate how you look, because in actuality, I'm the one who's smart enough to see right through it and recognize that you're actually quite enthralled with yourself. You just wanted everyone else to be, too. Well guess what? I called her out on it! She had the nerve to say, "I'm surprised you had time to notice anything, you're always tooting your own horn"...she had this look on her face that made me want to punch the shit out of her shake my head. I told her, "I'd rather toot my own horn than to wait my whole life for someone else to toot it for me." That's when she threw in that "narcissistic tendencies" BS... girl please. When you stop whining long enough to actually listen in class, earn a degree or two, and start practicing Psychology, then you can come throwing your half-cocked diagnosis over here. Until then, get the f*ck from 'round me! Go somewhere and get your Daddy-issues in check before you wind up knocked up in a campus bathroom talkin' about you're a virgin and didn't know you were pregnant...dummy.

x0x0♥

PS: Yes, I do feel better now. Thank you. :-)

On the Road Again...♥

Today I went out with my best friend to set up her baby registries. She's having a little boy in March...It's still weird to me. This is the closest I've been to someone during pregnancy...I grew up in the 'hood and half the girls my age were pregnant while we were in middle school. As far as I was concerned, pregnancy was contagious and my mama wasn't raising nobody's babies! I didn't want any parts of that! So it's still kinda weird to me every time I see my bestie. I keep saying, "Oh my gosh, there's a human in there" lol.
On our way to one of the stores, we took the expressway but there must have been an accident or something up ahead because traffic was backed up. So my bestie (who was driving) decided to get off at the next exit. As we're getting off, a semi is behind us and he blows his horn at her. We're on the exit ramp, first of all, so who the F does he think he's rushing? Second of all, the traffic is literally moving between 0 and 5 mph. Again, who the F is he rushing?? So he blows again. What does my bestie do? She blows back. Over and over. And over. We got massive amounts of WTF stares. Lol. So by now we're pulling into a red light at the end of the exit ramp. Semi pulls up in the lane on our right, and clearly I flipped him off. Do you know this creep stopped his big ol' truck and hopped out (well not out, but hanging off that bar thing they hold on to to get into the truck) and points at us and yells "YOU GOT A PROBLEM????" 
....
.........
.............
My bestie and I simultaneously BUSTED out laughing at him, in his face. Loudly. Haha. You're mad, huh?
He got back in his lil' truck and rode off. All 5 feet of him. And his baggy overalls. Bwahahaha.


x0x0♥

Oh, No He Didn't!! ♥

So on Saturday nights, I go to this open mic thing called The Listening, and it's held in a lounge which is right next door to a tavern/bar/White people mecca. So as I'm leaving tonight, I walk past 3 White guys standing out front smoking, and I give a little polite smile since they were looking. All of a sudden I hear the one closest to me say, "She's a big girl"..
*Pause. Let me just state that, for the record, this statement did not piss me off. I'm a size 18, and I love me, and my man loves me, and plenty of other people (some who I don't even want to love me lol) and I'm one of those girls who honestly believes she's gorgeous, and no one can tell me anything to the contrary! Lol!*
Then another one responds, "Yeah, aren't they all?"....
Freeze. 
No, literally, I stopped in my tracks.
I turned around and, my Mama would come back to life and kill me if she knew I'd popped fly on a sidewalk full of half drunk White men on a Saturday night while walking alone but...I had to say something. I had to...
So I turn around and said, "Excuse you?" and they just looked at me with these stupid grins on their faces. So the one who called me a big girl takes a drag of nicotine and says, "Is there a problem?"... really?
So I told him, "Yeah, the problem is racist ass White people like you who need to learn how to keep your stereotypes to yourself, especially when I work in a store that sells clothes to more White women than a little bit, the majority of which are teetering on obesity while you're sitting here talking about Black women are all big!" and the guys were just looking at me all stupid. Then the guy threw his cigarette down and I just knew he was gonna try something but then he apologized. Yeah, he said "I'm sorry, ma'am, we were just f*cking around, we didn't mean anything by it"...and I was getting ready to walk away when the same racist a-hole who made the "Aren't they all?" comment decided to throw in another two cents. He asked me, "What the hell clothing store do you work in??" then he laughed. My response? "Go home and ask your fat ass mama, I'm sure she's one of our frequent shoppers."
Don't play me. I'm not the one. 
x0x0♥

UnGRATEful B*tches...♥

The stupidity that seeps from peoples' mouths never ceases to amaze me.

OK, so I have this cousin who attends my school. She's a sophomore, though. Young and dumb. And lazy. Spoiled. All that good stuff...

So anyway, we didn't really fall out, I kinda just cut her off a month or two ago, because she's one of those people who only calls/texts/facebooks you when they need something. I don't play that. I have no children, and it's enough work taking care of myself. Why the hell would I waste my life taking care of you too? I mean, it started off small. Asking for a ride here and there, which irritates me enough as it is. But this chick had the audacity to ask me if she could borrow one of my TVs. Seriously?? My first thought: What the hell kinda crackhead azz question is that?? People ask to borrow ink pens, or flat irons (and that's pushing it)....but a TV?? So I politely told her no. I don't have a TV you can borrow. We haven't really talked since then, which quite frankly is fine with me. 

Fast forward:

I stop to see my Daddy before I left my hometown last weekend. He tells me that over Thanksgiving dinner, he was asking how everyone was doing in school and whatnot, and he asked my cousin if she'd found a job yet. Her response was that she hadn't found a job because I wasn't helping her, and she couldn't work at the mall because if she did, I wouldn't take her and pick her up from work. 

Now...at this point, I'm laughing. And it wasn't a "Wow, that's hilarious" laugh...it was more like one of those laughs some of us get before we commence to hurting somebody's feelings, and calling them everything but a child of God. I was LiVid!

1) Why are you talking ish about me to our family, making me look like this evil ass meanie?

I know, my family knows me enough to see through her BS, but still...it's the principle.

2) You're a damn lie!

Hell, I've done everything but fill out the freakin' applications and go on interviews for your ass! WTF?? Prime example:: I was chatting with a girl in my class who works at the student rec center, and she mentioned that they were looking to hire freshmen and sophomores who'd be able to work for a couple years, instead of having to hire and train new people each semester. Perfect for her! It's on campus (she has no car) and it's easy (all they have to do is like swipe people's ID when they enter the rec)...what more could you ask for?? 

Told her about the job opening, even told her that she could apply online! Spoke to her a few weeks later and guess what? She'd never even pursued it. 

Then you sit and tell people I'M not helping you? B*tch please. SMH. Don't even get me started on the "she won't take me and pick me up" comment. Once again, SMH...

x0x0♥

Oooohhhhhmmmmm....♥

OK never mind, I'm feeling a little better lol.
I just had to blog about this, because it was getting on my first nerve, last nerve, and every damn nerve in between!!
Have you ever met someone who ALWAYS has some drama? Like, ALWAYS? It's so annoying...Like damn, do you ever have a happy day in your life? If so, can you start sharing those, because we're sick of hearing about how miserable you are 99.7% of the time! Go do some damn yoga or somethin...get your Russell Simmons on lol. 
x0x0♥

Self-Hatred...SMH.♥

So I was watching Judge Alex the other day (I think?) and there was a woman who, in my opinion, is CLEARLY Black suing a friend of hers for an unpaid loan. The purpose of the loan? Hydrogel booty injections, which I’ve mentioned in a prior post. The issue this time, however, isn’t those trifling injections, it’s the Black woman’s obvious self hatred! I embedded the videos of the episode, so you can judge for yourself, but I’ll make a long story short with these highlights:

1) She doesn’t hate Black people, she hates Black WOMEN (because we’re evil and hateful)
2) She isn’t a racist, though
3) Her last name was Williams, but she changed it to O’Nassis because Williams sounded “too Black”
4) When asked what race she identified with, she refused to say she was Black, mixed, or anything. She replied “I’m human”.

According to the comments on these YouTube vids, she’s also appeared on the Judge Mathis show before. There’s so much wrong with these women, I don’t even have time to discuss it all right now, since I’m on my way out to work. Just wanted to share…


x0x0♥

For the Babies...♥

So I've read that Angelina Jolie is planning to adopt yet another child (this will make lucky number 7), from Syria this time. I think it's great. I'm a big fan, and I don't care how cooky people think she is! I think it's crazy, however, that people are criticizing her for it. It seems like someone always has something to say when Angelina makes an addition to the Jolie-Pitt clan, but honestly as long as she's willing and able to take in these children, what's the big problem? Do you know how many children in the world are orphans, and need a family to take care of them? Half the people who are complaining probably don't take care of their own kids, or know someone else who doesn't! So as long as there are people running around pulling 'Brenda-Got-a-Baby' scenarios, I don't have a problem with anyone stepping up and trying to help a small portion of these children!
x0x0♥

Dude Said WHaT?♥

You know what grinds my gears?
When a girl makes status updates on Facebook about how this n*gga said such-and-such to me, and was trying to get with me, and blah blah blah, talking about how disrespectful dudes are when they approach her. Then 2 days later, the same female is updating her status talking about how old dude is taking her to the movies later that night.
What?
First of all, if a man {term used loosely} approaches you and the first thing he comments on is your ass or other womanly parts, he’s probably not going to display too many manners in future interactions. Plus, that's probably his way of letting you know that's all he's interested in. I mean, he’s probably THINKING “Man, she got a phat ass…” but voicing it as a pick-up line shouldn’t be the desired approach. HowEVER, if that is the approach you want from a guy, stop frontin’ and making statuses about it as if you’re so offended! You knew when the words left his trifling mouth whether or not you were gonna let him hit that give him your number. So what you acting mad for? Clearly if he was out-of-pocket when he approached you, but now you’re going out with him, he didn’t offend you too much.
x0x0♥

Can You, like, Die Already?♥

To Whom it May Concern:
Can we PLEASE have a funeral for the word 'Swagg'? It's been in a comatose stage for quite some time now, and I'd love it if we could just pull that plug. I mean, auto-tune died. Who's gonna do the honors for Swagg? I'm sure we can find some willing party to assist. I'll give the eulogy myself.
Respectfully Yours,
x0x0♥

Letter to Mariah♥

Dear MiMi:

PLEASE go sit down, enjoy your marriage, and let corny-ass Nick Cannon knock you up with some corny babies. Every album you make sounds the same, and makes me SMH even harder than it's predecessor. He just sucks at life...I wish you all the best, but your time was up a LONG time ago. The Emancipation of MiMi was pushing it. However, you left us some great hits, and it was fun while it lasted... Everything has its season. You've had yours. Give it a rest. Once again, on behalf of the greater good, I ask you to sit down. Thanks.

x0x0♥

LBGT and Me...♥

It seems like the last couple weeks, I've been hearing more about Gay Rights and whatnot than usual (or at least I've been paying more attention than usual)... I guess I had never stopped and thought about how I truly feel about gay rights, gay marriage, etc. until recently. Sure, it's a big issue in society in recent years, but I'm all about the manparts LoL, so I never really got into all the hype... however, over the last couple weeks, and after hearing many viewpoints, my opinion is this::
Who are we to judge?!
I don't have any qualms with being a person who believes in God but is not opposed to gay marriage. I've had debates in which my own religious beliefs have been questioned, simply because I don't oppose this issue. But here's the thing: There's no one walking this Earth who can tell me about my relationship with my God. Not one preacher, teacher, Bible-toter, zealot, etc. My salvation is just fine, thank you.
I just believe in the theoretical separation of Church and State. This is my personal opinion, and I stand by it. Plainly put: Rights are a LeGaL matter. Religion is a PerSonaL matter. See how those words differ? EVERYONE in the WORLD does NOT PRACTICE RELIGION!! I know people would love to believe that everyone believes in their God and that we all are just one big happy Christian family. The reality is that there are people in this country who have no religious beliefs, or loose religious beliefs, or whatever. What right do we have to strip people of their LEGaL rights just to satisfy our RELIGIOUS beliefs?? You mean to tell me that if I were an Atheist, and I were gay, I couldn't get married to the love of my life because your Bible says its an abomination??? You know what I'd tell you? I'd tell you to Hell with your Bible. And those are not my feelings, whatsoever, but all I'm saying is that people should have the choice. It should not be made for them. I don't believe it's right to just say "Hey, we love God so you can't get married, whether you love Him or not!" It isn't fair. How can we sit here and throw the First Amendment around anytime we go on strike or decide to make a speech or write something...but then forget about the part of that VERY SAME amendment that states we have freedom of religion, and that the government should not "prefer one religion to another religion, or prefer religion to IRRELIGION"?
My Bottom Line: Whether or not we as individuals practice religion shouldn't play a role in the legislation of this nation.
x0x0♥

You're a Jerk...♥

You know what really grinds my gears?? When people are so starved for attention that they go out of their way to constantly attempt being "different"... For example, I know a person who is constantly dressing outside-the-box, which is all fine and dandy, you know? It's cool. If you're into that, you can appreciate this person's style. But then anytime this person speaks, its either "Well I've BEEN wearing ________, everybody else needs to catch up", or "This is my style, everybody who just started wearing it is copying". First of all, if your name isn't on the label...its NOT your style... Please believe, even if you--a young kid in OHIO of all places-- are hip to a certain trend or designer, best believe, the rest of the world was hip to it WAY longer than you were! Lol...really though! So there's no need to always voice these things...If you're truly being you, and dressing the way that makes you happy, your style will speak for itself! You can just do you, without all the extra...because then it turns into cockiness, and that's annoying. There are so many people who dress/talk/act a certain way SIMPLY because no one else in their vicinity does it, but there's a vast difference between being a trendsetter by nature, and doing/saying/wearing things just because you know other people will say something about it! If you're not doing it for you, then it's not who you really are...which makes it FAKE...which makes YOU fake!! Get it?? Lol... 
x0x0♥

Get Me the Paddles....Stat! ♥

Why is it that crappy music is now the majority in the hip-hop world, while good, meaningful lyricism is fading into the background as the exception? When did this happen? There was a time when music was an art form, and club music was the exception...now the roles have reversed… Thank God there's a recession going on, it makes the decision easier--no, non-existent-- as to what music to buy and what to download/burn... I wouldn't pay a DIME for the vast majority of music that's hitting the airwaves these days! I‘ll drive in silence rather than listen to the radio in my car. If I don‘t have my iPod or a CD…forget about it.
I understand that hip-hop is evolving and all that, but gosh…I feel Martha Stewart could drop a better album than some of these artists…
x0x0♥

Get Off My Couch {Figuratively Speaking} ♥

I'm so sick of playing therapist! I've got more "patients" than a little bit, and I haven't even gotten my degree yet!
Why do people ask for advice right before they go off and do their own thing anyway? Completely contradicting the advice THEY demanded of you!
I would love to say that I'm not guilty of this, however I am...and I still don't understand it.
I want to understand, because lately I've felt myself getting an attitude about certain people and them bringing their problems to me. This makes me feel like I'm not a good friend, because I don't even care to hear these problems anymore after I've heard them so many times. Why keep asking when you're going to keep going back to the source of the problem? It just baffles me! I try the nice approach...you know, "Maybe you should ___________"....it doesn't work. Then I try a more forceful approach, something like "You need to __________, like seriously"...doesn't work either...Finally, there's the sistah-girl approach..."If I tell you one more time to ______________, I'm gonna scream!"
So what does one do when all these approaches fail? I don't want to be a bad friend, and just tell this person to stop coming to me with the BS, because then they'll feel like they can never come to me again. They'll worry that I don't care at all anymore. I'd never want to contribute to someone feeling the need to hold everything in and try to deal with it alone... IDK...maybe people just need to learn things for themselves sometimes.
x0x0♥