OK so this is an exchange I had about a week or so ago, with a person I don’t know on FB. A friend of mine posted this status {Note: Everything is going to be word-for-word}:
“If a black person who hangs with white people...gives one of their white friends the "permission" to say NIGGA...And then the white friend says it...feeling its ok..cuz they have permission...and THEN SAY IT TO YOU..and say "well..so and so gave me permission"...WHAT WILL BE UR RESPONSE..and what do u think of all dat?”
The subsequent comments started with about 5+ people…but ended up becoming a two-way between me and some {insert nicer word for ass wipe}. So I’ll just give you the exchange between the two of us. I‘ll refer to him as AW {my shorthand for ass wipe}. Feel free to comment on my opinion, his opinion, the exchange itself, insert your opinion, etc:
Me: I don't really care who says it, seeing as how the vast majority of us use it on the regular. its a word...just like any other. And as with other words, my position is this: if I don't say it to you, don't say it to me.
AW: @sonji that was a passive way to look at this word. We say it to one another cuz the world branded it to our being! We twisted it and made it ours! Not saying that is right to use it, but never invite the faces who gave us that to use it when talking to us! Ever! So it is not just a word! That word is our existence here!
AW: Understand fully you speak is all I am saying. When you have to get permission then you should not do it.
Me: If you choose to minimize your existence to a word, that's your choice. I choose not to. I don't feel I'm being passive, but I will admit to being desensitized to the word. Should I live my life being bothered about who's saying a word, and when they're saying it? I've been around enough white people as well as people of other races to know that most of them say it within their own circles, regardless of permission. I don't need to be patronized by being asked for permission. As I stated before, if I'm not saying the word to others, which I very rarely do, then I expect it not to be said to me. And if/when a person of another race decides to say it to me, I'll let them know the same thing.
AW: sonji that is why people of other races feel like they can say it ...cuz people like you choose to hide from shit until it come to you directly...if martin, malcolm, and others thought like that then we would be called worst by them..wake up and stop the passive shit!..you seem real smart!
Me: Right, because referring to everyone around us as nigga this, nigga that doesn't play a role in them saying it.?! When you hear one another saying the word, its all cool but someone else says it and you're ready to go off. If the word is so disrespectful, you should be going off whenEVER you hear it, even if its from your fellow "niggas". Do you? Call me passive all you want, but if you ask me, that bullshit "we took it and made it ours so we can say it til the cows come home" is a cop out anyway.
AW: sonji you are missing the point.....you are so missing the point..you need a class on the matter.....you have things twisted..you may even think because we have a black president that rasicm is over?...lol WRONG!..SPIKE LEE SAID IT BEST WAKE UP!!!!!
Me: Honey I'm not missing anything. I've heard your "point" a million times before, and I've spoken my opinion on the matter a million times before. I've heard this "point" from others who'd fight and argue to the last breath about the word, then catch their breath, walk off, and use the word as if their vocabularies don't know alternatives. I don't pity the hypocrite who does this, and is foolish enough to not expect the same behavior from others. That's my stance, and I respectfully decline replacing it with yours.
AW: @SONJI you are just passive..it is just a point that you need to take a stand on the matter...i do not walk around mad and argue but i know where i stand period they do not even talk like that around me as to where they will say it around your passive self..
Me: Its never been said to "my passive self", and I attribute that to the fact that I'm not the ignorant one going around saying it myself. I respect myself enough not to say the word, and so far its worked out for me. If taking your so called stand works for you, I'm not knocking it. I'm simply stating my experience, my opinion, and that doesn't make me any less "Black" or any less educated.
AW: nah you just passive and maybe hang out with white people..lol..go ahead...do you....do you.....
Me: I always do me. I'll def continue to do so. Have a good night.
AW: i believe you passive woman good night..
just thought I'd share...for entertainment purposes. SMH.
x0x0♥
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i feel the same way as you... and wouldnt have even wasted my time arguing with AW
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