Couldn't Afford a Car, So She Named Her Daughter...What???

Question: What's in a name?

Answer: PLENTY!

I wonder how many employers have seen names that just make them get a whiff of hot sauce, or that prompt the "Love that chicken from Popeye's" jingle to play in their heads? Now, make no mistake, I'm all for choosing names with meaning, or sentimental value, or passing family names on to future generations...but when your child's name has more prefixes than an elementary schoolteacher's lesson plan, there's a problem. It should not take Baby Lataquandanishiyanna all the way until junior high school to perfect the art of spelling her FIRST name. It seems like some people are competing to see who can add the most letters in their babies' names! The "Oh, that letter is silent" excuse is only plausible at a rate of once-per-name. If that. What's the point of silent ass letters any damn way? If they're silent, they might as well be invisible too! But, I digress...Do people honestly not think about their children's futures when they're going through the name-choosing process? I mean we name our babies after liquor, cars, name brands...when does it end? Talk about buying into stereotypes. We've got Keisha from 'round the way walking down the block pushing her twins, Tequila and Toyota in the stroller! Oh, don't worry. Their cousins Denali and Hennessey are close by, carrying the diaper bags. What sounds so cute and looks pretty in your cursive writing may not be so cute in about 25 years, when Baby LaLa (of course, that would be Lataquandanishiyanna's nickname, lest it take everyone 10 minutes and a couple ibuprofen to say her full name) is all grown up and beginning her career search. Of course, this is all assuming that her applications make it into the "Maybe" pile on Bill Whoeverschmidt's desk. Let's face it, no employer would ever admit this, but they DO get some type of categorization in their mind of who you are, based on your name. It's not right, it's not fair, it's stereotypical at best and racist at worst....but it's true. You think Emily Van Buren's application is going to get the same sideways glance that Shawntavieteria Jenkin's gets in the Human Resources Office? All I'm saying is, stop naming these babies after things that will begin haunting them as soon as the ink dries on the birth certificate. In case you're confused, this includes but is not limited to the following: vehicles, odd combinations of you and your baby mama/daddy's name, beverages (alcoholic or otherwise. Tropicana is NOT acceptable), the baby's first noise when he/she slid out of the womb, etc. Just don't do it....Now, granted, we're living in an age where people are naming their kids Apple (and trust, it gets much worse)...but these kids have rich ass parents, trust funds, and enough money to never have to touch a job application. What about lil' Corolla an' nem? SMH...
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