This past year, my most highly anticipated reads were The Conversation by Hill Harper, and Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey. So I went out and bought them (usually I go to the library, but if I feel something is worth keeping I'll buy) and I read them. I loved them both. I've mentioned The Conversation in a prior post, back before people actually cared about my blog in October. It's a really good post, if I do say so myself. Check it out when you're done reading this one. {Yes, I frequently toot my own horn. On a healthy level, though}
Anywho...
As I read both books, I thought about certain people, situations, or even memories of my own past and present that illustrated the points both men were making.
Why do we play games when it comes to the opposite sex? Men think women are the ones playing games, women think the men are playing them, so we respond by what? Playing along with them! I've always wondered, what is this unwritten set of rules that we tend to abide by? Who "un-wrote" them? I'd much rather find things out through trial and error than to abide by some rules that make me put my emotions in some box and toss them to the side. Then I read chapter 15 of The Conversation. My mouth dropped when I saw mention of the book The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right. Seriously? That's some mess I'd neither buy nor check out from a library. When did men and women become so disconnected to the point where we feel we need manuals to get to know each other?? To me, all this says is that women are mindless, uncreative creatures who need step-by-step instructions to socialize, and that men are mindless creatures as well, who will swarm to us when they see us correctly playing a role that's supposed to represent the perfect woman. The Rules apparently mentions things such as turning down a date if it isn't made offered at least 4 days in advance, and smiling a lot during the date, but not talking a lot about yourself. First of all, what the heck else are you supposed to talk about while getting to know one another?? Duh! As far as the 4-day thing...SMH. Apparently we should be mindless, uncreative creatures who sit and look pretty while lacking spontaneity, as well... I know idiots people who still swear by the rules from the movie Two Can Play That Game! I feel like if you aren't able to do something as simple as thinking for yourself or making conversation, maybe you shouldn't be dating, bringing someone else into your hot mess of a life lol! Seeing as how we all possess...I dunno...BRAINS and whatnot, every little rule isn't going to apply to every person you meet and/or decide to date. Why place someone in a box instead of giving yourselves the space to honestly get to know one another? If you're playing a role, chances are they can tell and will probably play a role to keep up, or dismiss you altogether because, let's face it, a pretty smile is only going to get you so far. Show your personality, and let them decide if they'd like to pursue something with you! I'm sure it probably sucks monkey balls to meet someone and get bamboozled into believing their everything you've ever wanted, only to marry them and find out down the road that they were "just playin'"...
xoxo♥
PS: In honor of this post, here's one of my all-time favorite Maxwell joints. Enjoy!
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Lovely blog you got here....thanks for sharing about the book,wud check it out!
ReplyDeleteThank you, and thanks for reading! Definitely check the book out, and Steve Harvey's book if you haven't. They're both great reads! ♥
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you when you said this:
ReplyDelete"as how we all possess...I dunno...BRAINS and whatnot, every little rule isn't going to apply to every person you meet and/or decide to date."
That's the inherent problem with these kind of books. Also, Steve Harvey has been divorced twice and Hill Harper has never been married. I don't look to them as subject matter experts. LOL
Lol, I agree, and Harper actually states in his book that he's in no way trying to portray an expert... but I liked the books because the message I got from them is steer clear of the books that TELL you what to say and how to say it, and instead create your own flow of communication. And expert or not, I think that's what's missing from a LOT of relationships!
ReplyDelete